Being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing.  But living your life as a victim is something entirely different.  Unfortunately, those sort of victims can’t see the forest for the trees.   For them, life is a continuous battle, to which they can do nothing about.  Helping them shift over to slight gentle cause is about all you can do for them.  You can’t make them be responsible because to be responsible, it has to be a personal choice.  You CAN NOT make them.  If you think you can, they’ll just be a victim of you making them, and that is not responsibility. You’ll be the cause of their woes at that point.

You see the worst part of trying to be friends with a victim is that they have it all figured out how it’s the other person’s fault,  or how circumstances work against them.  They rarely rise above this bullshit and have the guts to look at themselves for why things always seem to go wrong for them.  And no matter how much you listen or work with them, they slide right back to that safe spot called victim.

I also know from personal experience that it does not serve that person to coddle them and let them continue to do so.   Unfortunately they consider that mean, which you know, keeps them at victim.

Harsh?  Yes.  After so many losses and upsets in one’s life, it’s so much easier to settle in at “victim.”  I understand, I dabbled in “victimdom”.   It really sucked.  And I’ll be honest; I’ve had a lot of counseling to help me work out those issues, and I finally had a blinding cognition, that I am totally and solely responsible for my life. It’s not scary, it’s just the truth. I let that cognition empower me to build the life I want to have.  And I chose to not surround myself with cruel people who thrive on keeping others down.

But I thank my friends who don’t coddle me and I do my best to surround myself with those who take responsibility for their lot in life and make it go right to create the life they want to lead.

Again, being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing.  Strong responsible people learn to come to terms and handle and either use their experiences to empower others, or they move on if they are physically able to do so.

I take a lot of credit for all the strong brilliant friends I have.  I’m here to empower and I’m here to listen, but only if you want true help.

I love you man!