Not Just Ferguson

Time to mention Ferguson; well sort of.  I’m not going to debate this particular case, but these are facts:  We have quite a way to go as a society.  People are up in arms about abusive police, which is a good thing.  I can’t believe how many acts of violence against citizens have been caught on tape.  How many more have not?

The media does a great job of keeping us in fear.  People sharing YouTube videos on social media do an even better job.

Policemen are individual men and women who have sworn to serve and protect the citizens in their community.  Please do not assume all officers are the same, that all officers are bad. That’s mob mentality.  Responding to bad behavior with more bad behavior; protesting with violence is also mob mentality.

I do know this, as a group, police have about the toughest job there is out there.  They deal with law breakers.  That is what they look for.  They have to deal with people who have no regard for the law; people who beat their spouses and children; people who abuse animals; people who run about shooting people; gangs; drug dealers; people who lie in wait to take out a policeman; they deal with the scum of the earth…and they deal with law abiding citizens who are both decent, and who are also assholes.

We expect officers to be “professional” to be friendly and compassionate and to know at all times whether the person they are talking to is a law abiding citizen or not.  I couldn’t even imagine the discipline it takes to keep one’s emotions under control and to continue to believe that man is basically good and to believe in the human race.

I had a discussion with one of my dearest friends who confided in me that she has had “the talk” with her young teenage son, the talk on how not to get shot and killed by local police. Seriously!  And though her son is white, and cute as a button, she knows that young men (and yes women), need to learn now not to push a cop’s buttons.  Don’t get arrested, stay alive.

You could counter that parents should just teach good manners.  Yes, that’s absolutely true!  But a reminder, driving home the potential danger of dealing with police is a real fear in this day and age and I understand the desire to have “the talk” with one’s kids.  How sad is that?

How hard would it be to treat people who have been arrested with a modicum of respect? So many of these people will return to the streets after having been disrespected by their police department and how can they not form an opinion about that?  I know several people who have been arrested in error and were totally handled as if they were guilty and they were totally disrespected.

The pity is that the occasional bad cop so outshines the multitude of good cops out there. They do such incredible damage to the morale of our society.

I’ve wondered how to handle the issue of abusive/asshole cops.  Are there just certain people who are prone to anger and violence and who should never have been hired to serve and protect in the first place?  Sure.  But I can’t help but think there are even more who have signed on with all the good intentions in the world and end up jaded. My friend suggested how could they NOT be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?!!

My two-cents on PTSD?  It’s not a disorder.  It’s human.  We’re not designed to deal with so much violence (war, working as a police officer, abusive relationships, etc…).  So to treat with psychotropic drugs just further debilitates the “victim”.  There are certain types of therapies available to clean up, deal with, and help strengthen people on an individual basis…to actually help rehabilitate them…not sedate them.  Again, not a disorder, it’s the human condition!

Back to the point, this article is not to forgive abusive cop behavior. In fact, as a society, we are nothing less than betrayed by abusive police.  We trust them to protect us. It’s incredibly hard to wrap one’s head around their conduct unbecoming an officer.

So how can we help our officers become better people, to be the protectors they set out to be?  To protect them from the seemingly inevitable pitfalls of abusive behavior?

Let’s try to understand and to better the situation.

I wondered if being a police officer should never be a lifelong career, but rather a short-term service like the military is set up to be.  Instead of boot camp where men and women are practically battered into submission to become warriors, there would be a training camp of fitness, police science, and of course public relations and how to deal with people, all kinds of people. Their service could be up to five years where they would be paid handsomely and perhaps given the chance to attend college.

Okay, I’m just trying to think outside the box.  All I know, is that if you’re working dealing with the scum of the earth, it’s got to change you.  And the longer you work along those lines, the more you’d lose yourself and go to “the dark side.”

And of course, we want our PD to be the pillar of strength when it comes to protecting us from the scum of the earth, but we also want them to do so professionally.

But let’s get back to Ferguson for just a moment.  If you have not read professional football player Benjamin Watt’s essay on Ferguson, I’m telling you now, it is a MUST read.

He does refer to his faith at the end. He wrote, “I’M ENCOURAGED, because ultimately the problem is not a SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem.” and went on to talk about absolving sins through Jesus Christ.

I respect that.  I would just add that I’m encouraged because at any given time, we have the choice to do the right thing. I truly believe man is basically good.

Please DO read this.

Here is a link to his Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/BenjaminWatsonOfficial

Here is a link to a news station cutting & pasting it (in case you don’t have Facebook):
http://www.khq.com/story/BenjaminWatson

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is not the forum to point fingers and add more disgust to an already volatile situation.  This is the forum to brainstorm on how to better our society.  Suggestions are welcomed.

A Couple of Things…

Syd at school 1.  Thanksgiving is the only meal where I’m typically full before dinner is finally served. Throwback Thursday pix of Syd Rose.  Ain’t she cute?? I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving!  I’ll miss Syd Rose and I’m counting the days to when I get to see her at Christmas.


2.  I’m a big huge proponent of buying local and supporting small business owners.  I’m also a fan of receiving gift certificates (not necessarily buying them).  That being said, I had 4-5 gift certificates for Star Bucks I’ve been working my way through the past week or so.  I stick to the Venti Roasted Brew Blonde, nothing fancy.  I typically brew my own coffee at home and if I run out or I’m running late, I’ll grab a cup of Joe at the local doughnut shop (small business owner) around the corner.  I kind of feel guilty going in there!


3. I overhead a germaphobe talking about how disgusting the habit of spreading germs via birthday cake really is.  Think about it, there’s a dozen or so candles and the person is blowing their germs via hot breath and spittle out over a lovely cake which is then sliced up and handed out to unsuspecting friends and family and then we’re suppose to eat that?  Perhaps we need a new tradition while singing “Happy Birthday”. Next time I’m going to look into one of those handheld fans…not that any of my family or friends have any germs or anything. 😉


4. A few weeks ago on a hot Autumn day, I was in the Vons parking lot near my home when two guys were standing next to their car debating what to do with the small dog they had with them.  They agreed they couldn’t take him in the store, so to my surprise, they started to walk away leaving the dog in the car with the windows rolled up.  I told the closest idiot to me, calmly and matter-of-factly, and with no hint of a question, “You’re not going to leave that dog in the car.” He looked at me guiltily and said, “Yeah, I guess not.” I didn’t use any invalidation and I would like to think he realized I was the voice of his conscious.  I sincerely hope that poor pup is still alive.


5. I miss Stevie Ray Vaughn.


Ventura City Hall6.  I love that some of us at City Hall have a sense of humor.  This was found hanging upstairs outside one of the popular conference rooms.  The signage describing the artwork is priceless.


7. I had the MRI.  They take twenty minutes and you’re suppose to remain at rest.  I think I would have been more relaxed if the MRI technician hadn’t said just as he was leaving the room, “Alright.  Don’t move!”  Great! That was all I could think of for twenty minutes…holding perfectly still yet wanting to move, stretch, and just wiggle about! The only thing worse than the torture of actually holding still, was the threat that I would have to start all over.  Yeah, I remained virtually lifeless.


8.I witnessed something that was about the most sexy thing I’ve ever seen a man do.  Ready for it?  I saw a man pick up his friend’s baby and he comfortably held it and spoke to it and just gave the baby love and affection. OMG!!  Crazy or what? To be fair, I feel the same way when I see a man treat animals with love and compassion.


hot sauce9. I’ve always been a fan of Aerosmith.  I saw them a few times in concert in the Seventies so I was looking forward to reading Joe Perry’s autobiography called, “Rocks: My Life In and Out of Aerosmith.”  I was really enjoying it and it came as a surprise to me how much my memory sucks sometimes when I remembered I actually interviewed Perry for Buzzine Magazine when he came out with his own brand of barbecue sauce around 2002.  He was a nice guy! No degrees of separation!


10. I’m on a quest to improve my cooking skills.  I tend to get irritated and give up when I read a recipe which uses some ingredient I’ve never heard of or some equipment that I’ll never use again, or some skill I’ve never mastered.  So I had the bright idea to start with REALLY simple recipes (there’s actually a website for clueless cooks like me), and I mastered my first poached eggs.  Bam!


11. I figured out that “Comfort Food” is code for “fattening”.


12. From my favorite quotes file:  “For I don’t care too much for money, for money can’t buy me love.” The Beatles

Thanks for your time!

Yeah, I’ve decided to end my blogs with a different sign off.  I was signing off with “Thanks for listening”, but are readers actually listening?

Dictionary.com gives these definitions: LISTEN verb (used without object)
1. to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.
2. to pay attention; heed; obey (often followed by to): Children don’t always listen to their parents.
3. to wait attentively for a sound (usually followed by for): to listen for sounds of their return.
4. Informal. to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn’t listen as well as the old one.

I guess definition #2 is close, but I’m going with “Thanks for your time.” 🙂

A Couple of Things…

Samantha Boom Boom Baumgardner1. Look who is using her new steps!!! You can teach an old dog new tricks…with the help of bacon.  Now I can sleep through the night and Sammy can get up on the bed whenever she wants.  I had to place a towel on them so she could get some traction, otherwise she slipped when she jumped.  Thanks to all those who sent me information on steps for dogs, and a big shout out to Sergio for dropping off these steps, I owe you a burrito!


2. A torn Meniscus is the likely culprit for the pain I’ve been experiencing in my right knee. I get an MRI on Monday.  Also on a side note, Rolling Oaks Radiology has evening appointments.  How cool is that?  I don’t have to take time away from work for the MRI. My Nissan dealership on the other hand, two hours for an oil change.  Really??  They threw in a tire rotation (without asking), so I guess I still came out ahead, but it was frustrating.


2. I had a random woman commit on how much she really liked my gray hair.  I honestly didn’t know how to respond.  I’d like to think her intent was not to introvert me, but geez! By the way, I do my best to research words or phrases when I write; case in point, should I have used grey over gray?  Turns out, “gray” is only used in the United States, but “grey” is used everywhere else English is spoken. No worries about the gray, I’m feeling pretty good about myself again after finally figuring out how to change the time on my car’s clock.


3. I don’t understand how a place called “Anytime Fitness” has hours posted on their doors.


4. Have you seen that Facebook app where you can find out which holiday matches your personality?  I’m going out on a limb here and I’m guessing mine would be April Fool’s Day.


5.  All you should do is to continue to help, even when the “forces” of bad behavior dictate that you should stop.  Improving conditions for self, and your community are amongst the worthiest of endeavors in this life.


6. Did I ever mention I received my divorce documents on Christmas Eve 2004? (see previous #4)


7. I typically find that when someone says, “To make a long story short”, it’s already too late.  Sometimes I tell them as much. 😉


8. Have you tried that “seasonal” ice cream at Baskin Robbins?  It’s called “First Class Camouflage” in honor of Veteran’s Day and the flavors are – wait for it – chocolate, salty caramel and vanilla cake flavor.   They had me at salty caramel…until I actually tried it.  It just tasted like chocolate to me. I’ll stick to my Pralines and Cream.


9. While driving home recently, I spoke to a young man who was standing at the end of the 101 off ramp near my neighborhood.  He had a sign saying he was hungry.  I pulled up next to him and politely asked him why he didn’t get a job.  And he looked at me and said without any sort of apology, yet politely, “Honestly? I’m not hungry.  I’m a drug addict.”  I thanked him for not bullshitting me then I asked what drug and he said it was Heroin.  I told him when I younger and I use to do drugs the rule was always, “NEVER DO HEROIN.”  He said, “I know, I know!.” In any case, we made a connection, had a laugh, and I wished him luck on gaining sobriety.  He said, “Thank you.” I meant it.


10. I love Acronyms and I tend to use them mostly on Facebook and obviously when I text.  That being said, it defeats the purpose when you have to explain them, so here now a short tutorial.  I use these often:

  • LOL: Laughing Out Loud
  • FYI: For Your Information
  • OMG: Oh My God
  • SMH: Shaking My Head
  • TBT: Throw Back Thursday
  • BYOB or BYOW: Bring Your Own Beer or Bring Your Own Wine

These are new ones I’m considering:

  • TBH: To Be Honest
  • HMU: Hit Me Up
  • TL;DR: Too Long; Didn’t Read

or

  • TL;DL Too Long; Didn’t Listen (regarding a voicemail, which happens more than I care to admit)
  • ELI5: Explain Like I’m 5 (years old)
  • IANAD: I Am Not A Doctor (to be prefaced with “Dammit!”
  • MTFBWY: May the Force Be With You

11. There is an actual website called FlipText.org where you can enter text and they will “flip”it for you.  You can then insert it on Facebook or in a text message.  Like this: ¿sıɥʇ sı ssǝןʇuıod ʍoɥ


12. From my Favorite Quotes File, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’ – Dalai Lama Thanks for listening!

A Couple of Things…

cruise_vet1.  I took my dad on one of those three-hour cruises out to the Anacapa Islands and we had a blast taking photos and seeing all the pelicans, sea lions and dolphins.  No whales, but we found something even cooler.  My dad met a gentleman on the boat who is 96 years old, has been married for 77 years (his wife was with him), and he actually served under Patton.  What an honor shaking his hand just days before Veteran’s Day.
on the ocean
All in all a great day out on the ocean!


2. I just finished reading a book where the man’s wife dies, and later in the story it was revealed she was really alive. I hate fiction with story lines like that.  It makes it hard enough to let go of someone you love who has died, and this just feeds that false sense of hope that it all could be a terrible mistake.

If anyone could have pulled this off, my mother could have.  See she actually worked at Rose Hills Mortuary…so you can understand how my mind would figure out how she could have pulled it off.  Even to this day…


3. One of the aspects I love about Facebook is that you can reconnect with people you haven’t seen for literally 20 years but now feel like you’re a part of their lives, even though they live no where near you, and you probably won’t be seeing them for another 20 years, if that. I can private message as if we’ve been in the middle of a conversation.  I love it!


4. From my awesome headlines file:
Fake podiatrist sucks women’s toes
Giant Anteaters kill two hunters in Brazil.

Okay, so I read up on the anteater story because, “really?”  And it turned out that there were two separate incidents! Apparently these guys have front claws that are as long as pocketknives. So you just have to get in their way.

As for the podiatrist story?  It actually ran on CNN.


5. Is calling a man “adorable” a bad thing?  Or calling him “cute”?  Does it make men feel less manly or slightly effeminate?  I wonder because there are certain men I consider that way, and others I think of as artsy, or handsome, or that they are a manly man. Love them all, don’t get me wrong, but I hesitate to say, “You are so adorable!”

Turns out there is tons of info written on this very subject if you care to Google it.  My favorite entry, “Do the ‘cute and adorable’ guys ever get laid?”  It’s a question on a forum on a bodybuilding website.  I didn’t bother to see how people answered because I already know the answer which is resoundingly a “yes!”

6. I’ll be honest, I’m on the fence when it comes to Man Buns.


Google Maps7. This above satellite image of Ventura City Hall was brought to my attention by the crew I work with at City Hall because Google Maps had captured us during lunchtime sometime recently.  Clearly, this is a satellite photo of the guys doing their cross fit training on their side of the court, and me on the other side shooting hoops. How freakin’ funny is that?

Basketball court


8. I finally figured out how to Skype from my home computer.  I have one of those mini video cameras hooked up and I got the audio to work and everything!  But now, I feel like someone is always watching me even though I’m not connected.  To take care of that nagging feeling, I always make sure I have the lens covered up…just in case.


9. Have you ever walked into a bar or music venue and thought to yourself, “These are not my people!”


Halloween 2014(Thanks for photo Maggie)   Halloween last week was okay.  I really wasn’t planning on going out but I was slightly pressured to do so, so I put my hair up in a ponytail, put on a baseball cap and wore a safety vest.  I was a construction worker!  It came in handy when it started pouring rain and I had to run across the street to avoid getting more drenched. Cars saw me a mile away!!  The photo above is so bright just from the flash, so you can imagine getting caught in someone’s headlights!

Amanda-Me-PeggySide note:  I asked this gal to use my Canon camera to take a photo of us at The Watermark.  It took her FOREVER to figure it out and this is how it turned out!  I just laugh every time I look at it wondering just how drunk was she? Way too much head room!!


10. I had my first dirty martini on Halloween.  YUM!!


11. I read an article about which foods make you tastier to mosquitoes.  Included on the list are pickled foods, dairy products, Alcohol, Beer.  Yeah, I’m screwed.


12. From my favorite quotes file, “For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing.”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

Thanks for listening