Category Archives: Friends, Family and Events

Knee Replacement Surgery 2016

Posted on by
Reply

Hello!  It’s been too long since I’ve written a blog so I thought I would get caught up on why I haven’t written, which most people know is due to having surgery.

The purpose of writing my blog is to share my thoughts and ideas and to hopefully put a smile on your face and sometimes I do write about deeper topics, but I try to come from a place of hopefulness not despair and believe that something can be done about it. So when I’m not feeling creative, or I’m struggling, I’m not coming from a place where I should be writing.

So for starters…

Samantha Boom Boom Baumgardner

Samantha Boom Boom Baumgardner

The day before my surgery, I had to put my precious Sammy to sleep. She was the best dog ever.  I miss her like the dickens and still tear up when I remember those big beautiful brown eyes looking up at me.

ACOT_16006_2On Thursday, January 14, 2016, I had totally knee replacement surgery on my right knee. I have photos to prove it, but they are terribly graphic and once you see them, you’d be hard pressed to erase the mental image picture, and who needs that?  So here is a photo on Saturday, January 16, where I’m updating VenturaRocks.com.  I look alright because they have some really nice pain meds in the hospital.

ACOT_16006_3My daughter arrived from Portland on Saturday night in time for my release from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. She was my necessary caretaker, otherwise I’d have to of gone into a convalescent hospital for a couple of weeks.  As I wrote on FB page, “I’m grateful for Sydney Rose playing Nurse Ratchet, she literally would not let me take my pain meds 1 minute earlier than scheduled. She kept a chart of shots, pills, Metamusial, machine therapy, exercises, PT visits, plus she kept me safe, fed, clean and she let me color in her tattoo on her arm.

You’re lucky I didn’t write during the first few months of my recovery because I had to do everything possible to not bitch and complain and moan and groan about the pain and forced idleness. It sucked. It sucked hard. I couldn’t even stand in the shower on my own!

I re-watched every episode of The West Wing, and actually looked forward to falling back asleep again.  I was sleeping at least 15-20 hours a day in the beginning. I would even break down and cry three to four months into it because I couldn’t believe the pain was not alleviating.  I was frustrated.

For fun, here’s a little known fact during this time.  I continued to write my article for the Breeze.  I actually wrote my column that Sunday in the hospital before heading home.  It’s been the only time I asked Sheldon (Publisher) to look over my writing for mistakes or inappropriateness. And then on Sunday, January 31, I had to record the Q&A for Ventura Rocks at CAPS Media at W20 at the Watermark.  I had to be driven of course (more on that later), but I was still using a walker to get around and I was high as a kite from the pain meds. People say you can’t tell, but if you have a moment, check out the episode, the Q&A comes in at about 7:40:

Now about that video, I look HORRIBLE in the studio, I KNOW!! We’re just now getting the lighting right (five episodes out).  I don’t mind the out-of-the studio footage, but man o man!
In any case, did you see Eve Mimiaga on the other side of the bar?  She was my chauffeur.  And not just for getting me to the Watermark that day, she literally drove me everywhere for a couple of months.  To my doctor appointments, physical therapy twice a week, and when I started back to work she would take me to and from work every day.  She was a lifesaver and I’m eternally grateful to her.

So I was on a walker for three weeks, and then a cane for another two or so weeks. I learned on the third day in the hospital how to get up and down stairs (up with the good, down with the bad), and I’m just now, this past week taking the stairs one foot on each step (instead of two feet per step), going downstairs.

I started back to work at City Hall on a shorter schedule at three weeks, but returned full time at four.

ACOT_16006_4At about 3 1/2 months I was able to bend my knee to about 102 degrees, they want 120 (I started at about 40). My doctor told me I could continue with physical therapy working on getting it to bend, or he could just put me under and bend it for me.  I asked about what could go wrong (other than anesthesia mishaps) and he said he could accidentally break my leg.   He didn’t, and he provided a photo to prove he did bend my leg, and I was in physical therapy within an hour and at 120 degrees without pain.

I continued with my physical therapy for another couple of months to get more limber so I could wrap my arms around my knees and to be able to get my leg flat.  I started at -10 degrees, then -7, and at my final appointment last week I was at -3; and bending wise, I’m at 133 degrees with my arms around my knees.

About that physical therapy?  They say knee replacement is about the hardest PT you can endure, and I agree 100%.  It’s painful and I couldn’t have done it without pain meds. I remember the first time I could actually pedal the incumbent bike all the way around with the seat all the way back; it was a major milestone. I started just going back and forth, but eventually I got to where I could pedal without pain rapidly and with the seat all the way forward.  I took baby steps and made progress little by little.   But the physical therapists themselves have a tough job of inflicting pain, I was reduced to tears on more than a dozen occasions. I even refused to work with one particular person due to his roughness.

I went in for surgery feeling pretty fit, so I don’t know how out-of-shape or older people get through this procedure.  It’s harsh!  But I’m beginning to feel better and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My pain level started (scale of 1-10) at 8-9 and then down to constant 4-5 when not medicated.  Now I’m at 1-2 and weening off the meds which is also a hard endeavor as my body is use to having them in my system.  I’m riding my bike, able to walk up and down some steep hills (California Street up to City Hall), walking without limping, dancing, and hoops can’t be far off (I’m giving it another month or two to heal).

A couple of nice side effects?  Being taken care of by some extraordinary friends. And it may sound vain, but I was afraid of gaining weight due to inactivity.  But instead of gaining I lost 20 pounds at one point. I haven’t weighed 115 pounds since before puberty when I got breasts. A friend pointed out that I lost all my muscles I had gained after having been active and exercising the past five years and muscles are more dense.  Physical therapy was all about building up my quad and other muscles because they stopped working to protect my knee. So now I’m rebuilding my muscles (legs and upper body) by working out and drinking protein shakes.

I knew I was coming around because I started writing down tidbits to share with you on my blog, “A Couple of Things…”  I thought I’d just get you caught up on my status, and be done with it.  Like I always say, I’m not looking for sympathy, or encouragement, just understanding.

So there you go. 🙂

 

Ventura Music Week 2014 Wrap Up

Posted on by
2

drumkitThis was the fourth year for Ventura Music Week, my second year helping. Even though last year was so much work, I was still surprised at how exhausting it is to pull this event off.

Of course each year the goal is to surpass the previous one, and I believe we did that. We generated more interest in our music scene, further marketing this city as a music destination. Of course you’ll always have Monday Morning Quarterbacks. To them I say, “Shut up unless you want to help make it better.”

Again, this VMW team is on a volunteer basis. Some of the team members are on a payroll for their perspective jobs such as Economic Development crew, Peter Brown and Lilly Rudolph, from the City of Ventura; Kevin Clerici and Meredith Hart from the DVO (Downtown Ventura Organization), David Comden from the VC Reporter; but Kat Merrick, Sam Benner and myself don’t work for companies that cover their time spent on this.

Kat Merrick owns Totally Local VC and is also hired by different companies to help on their event planning; Sam Benner has moved away from marketing and has started working in real estate; and while I work for the City of Ventura, what I do to help is completely separate. I take personal time off for meetings, and I use my vacation time during Ventura Music Week. Many of the salaried helpers went above and beyond their day jobs helping to pull off events and showing up to lend a hand.

Again we had around 6-7 people attending meetings and making decisions on the direction we wanted to go. We really did want to start earlier on the planning stages, but somehow we managed to work on rushed deadlines which added stress to the equation.

That being said, last year there were clearly only a few people working their asses off, this year, more of us were. I’m so grateful to Kevin Clerici and Meredith Hart of the DVO (Downtown Ventura Organization), for their support. Yes, they have a vested interest in seeing their section of town (DOWNTOWN), thrive, but they took control of the budget and financial aspects, rallied their workers on physical help, and ran so many errands contributing to the success of the week.

As a committee we also put on a handful of events including the launch party, a movie screening, a visual arts presentation of rock photographers and a wrap party.  Some were more successful than others, but again, “movie night” was one of the highlights for the week with a screening of the Academy Award winning documentary, “20 Feet From Stardom.”

All participating venues are responsible for their own entertainment. We just ask that they try not to hire bands/artists who are already scheduled during the week so we have lots of diversity.

Again this year we scheduled VMW so that the anchor event for the second weekend would be Roadshow Revival (RSR). We lost however Rock Picnic. No one could blame Brian Parra for throwing in the towel on this one, but I was sad none-the-less as this had been the anchor even for the first weekend. Taking its place were two solid events, the SRO Benefit (which just happened to fall during VMW), and the Global Guitar Greats Tour held at the W Gallery.

But as great as RSR is, we really don’t want this event to fall during graduations and Father’s Day. People have other things to take care of!  We’re hoping next year that RSR can be moved to an earlier weekend, or we’ll find another hot event to take its place.

Even before our first official meeting, there was some heartbreak for me personally as I worked with a national touring act who has members who live here in Ventura. I went back and forth with one of the members of the band and their management trying to work on having this band launch the week with a show at the Ventura Theater. It would have been AWESOME!! But even after we met their monetary demands, management passed.  I tried not to take it personally, but I truly believe, if anything business should be personal, and this left me heartbroken.

So with some air deflated early on, we still managed to increase participation up to 50 venues from 30 last year.

While Sam sets up the website, I once again took on the responsibility of entering in all the content.  That’s FIFTY venues, with their specific information, and then their entertainment line up.  Some changed, some came in at the last moment.  I’ll be honest, I spent over 80 hours on the website and Facebook setting up information, 40 before VMW even started, and 40 while it was going on.  I was up by 6 in the morning, I had to enter changes during the day, create downloadable PDFs of the schedule and update with some photos late at night.

We only had two people going out to as many venues as we could, checking in with social media, then posting photos to add to the excitement.  Even with only two people, social media was abuzz with all the events.  The wrap party at Discovery was super fun with some of Ventura’s top guitarists jamming including Tommy Marsh, Erik Lemaire, Guy Martin, Alastair Greene and Mark Masson.

It took several weeks for my head to stop spinning.  I had taken personal vacation time, but returning to work the next day felt more like vacation as I could slow down and focus on one task at a time.

It’s been over month and I’ve started asking for feedback from the venues on what they thought, and whether they thought it was worth their time.  None of the responses have surprised me.  Some can’t think out of the box and only think in terms of how it benefits them personally, but most do look at the bigger picture and know that this effort benefits our town and as a result, it trickles down to them with more people coming to Ventura to hear music.  But the responses I loved the best, were those who had ideas of how to better this event next year.

We’re gathering theses ideas, there will be changes, and we may lose some help from some of the entities, but we will certainly gain help from other sources. Ventura’s music scene is gaining more momentum and catching attention from neighboring counties.  We are putting us on the map and this is all worthy of our time…even worthy of our blood sweat and tears.

 

 

Matt Cooper – In Memoriam

Posted on by
Reply

This was originally written on April 2, 2013, the day after Matt passed:

Matt Cooper and Me at Sea WorldMatt passed away last night.

Matt Cooper was a special soul. He lived life by his standards. He was inspirational.

KXBS, The Bus, would not have been the same without him and Brother Rob on the morning show. GOD I LOVED DANO!!! And I didn’t even like sports!

We had so much fun going out in the community “shaking hands and kissing babies” and making the radio station stand out from the rest. We cared. He cared. And he took his position seriously.

I’ll never forget those music meetings where we would all gather up in our office and Matt would introduce the music he would be presenting to “the committee”. You could tell he was excited by certain tunes, but tried to be fair for all of them.

Brother Rob and Matt Cooper with WinnersOf course there were those moments that stand out more than others, like when he played the wrong cut of a song’s intro and empathically dropped the “F” bomb live on air. Was it Bloodhound Gang? I knew something was wrong when all of a sudden there was dead air…and EVERYONE was laughing!!

Hanging out at the beach or shooting hoops. You guys were my boys.

I can not help but smile that Matt passed on April Fool’s Day. Now that’s a statement!

Love you Matt Cooper. You made your mark on Ventura.

Pam
aka Stephanie Rose

(I wrote a blog about attending Matt’s funeral:
https://acoupleofthings.us/2013/04/13/i-went-to-a-funeral-today/)
Matt Cooper and Me

Smile Because it Happened

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve always loved the quote from Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  It reminds me that we have the ability to see things in different perspectives.  Those who forget they have that ability are typically unhappy people, or their comfort zone is at “victim”.

I think back on all my relationships and there isn’t one that I would like to forget.  Okay, I lied.  There is that one, but seriously, he is bat ass crazy and that was a really bad choice on my behalf.

See what I did there?  I took responsibility for a bad choice.  And now, I smile at it.

Anyways…relationships are a funny thing.  In the past I would get insecure because a guy didn’t like me.  I would dwell on that fact, and pay no attention to the guys who had expressed interest in me. AND THEN of course, I have to take a look at the guys I had to tell that I didn’t feel that way about them.  It’s NEVER easy.  Egos can be fragile.

The truth is, I love men.  I love friendships.  I love hugs.

And if I were being brutally honest, I miss being married and believing that person will always be there for me.  I miss the shared laughter, the shared trials and tribulations of life, I miss sharing a life together.

One of my favorite stories about my ex-husband revolves around another famous quote you hear all the time:
We were seriously stressed out about time.  I was working in radio (you can not be late to be on-the-air), he was working his full time job and Sydney Rose was about six months old. Even though we both worked here in Ventura, we would commute over 20 miles each way to take her to stay with her Grandma because we knew she had a vested interest in seeing Sydney was well taken care of and happy.  I was also nursing Sydney at the time so I had to express my milk (yeah, kind of graphic, but get over it).  So we’re running around in the morning trying to get out of the house when I went to hand my husband the bottle of expressed mother’s milk and it dropped spilling all over the kitchen floor.

Time seemed to stand still until he said completely deadpanned, “There’s no use crying over spilled milk.”

There was no doubt about it, he had a great sense of humor.  We remained married for another eight years and had some great times raising Sydney, but it wasn’t working for him and he left.

With distance comes clarity and while I miss those things I mentioned about being married, I don’t miss him.

But I do smile because it happened.

Best Christmas Ever!!!

Posted on by
2

So for the past month or so I’ve been sharing my sad story about how I would be without my Sydney Rose for Christmas this year (witness my last post).  I had no Christmas tree, no decorations except for my white lights on my front kitchen window and little Christmas wreathes on the silly pink flamingos down in the side yard.

I had been looking at past Christmas photos and missing my baby for several weeks.  She’s a good daughter and calls me and lets me know what she’s up to and what her Sydeny-Christmas054plans are.  Remember she moved to Oregon last summer so it’s nice to be kept in the loop a little.   My understanding was that she would be flying with her employer to Florida and while there working as a nanny, she would be spending Christmas with her dad. She had told me she would keep in communication on travel day as is SOP (Standard Operating Procedure).  We always let each other know when we land safely.  But to add insult to injury, Syd Rose being the good daughter she is, decided she would also call me when she actually got on the airplane.  Now I’m not one to turn down a phone call from my daughter so I did not balk at the fact that it would be before 6:00 in the morning on Monday and so I was expecting that call.

Sydney called me at 5:45 am to let me know she was on the plane ready to take off.  She said, “Okay Momma, I’m on the plane, I’ll call you on my next stop.” With that assurance, she hung up and I laid in bed waiting for the alarm to go off in fifteen minutes to start my day.  A few hours later I got a text saying she was running to the next terminal and that she would call when she landed next in Florida, which as it turned out, she never did.

About an hour or so after getting her text,  I decided I should finally confront and start my Christmas shopping.  I already knew I was already going to be mailing Sydney a year’s supply of contact lenses, but I still needed to get something for my Dad and Nancy. Sergio, who works me me at City Hall,  asked what my lunch plans were, and I told him.  I didn’t think anything of it, because we sometimes work out for lunch (them cross-fit training, me shooting hoops) or we head downtown as a group and grab something to eat.  But I told him I was shopping, which I quickly did, then headed back to work for the shock of my life.

I arrived back at my office and turned the corner to my work cubicle and there was a stranger sitting in my chair. At first my mind couldn’t register what I was seeing.  The office was pretty much empty and the front door locked during the lunch hour, and while my first thought was Sydney Rose, my mind wouldn’t allow me to grasp that at first.  But clearly her smile and “Hi Momma!” assured me my mind wasn’t playing tricks and I realized that she really was here in Ventura, not in Florida!   I dropped all packages, jacket and purse on the ground and grabbed her and kissed her and cried tears of joy.  I asked how long she would be here, thinking maybe she had just made it go right to swing by to see me on her way to her dad’s, but she said it was for a complete week! Shocked, I asked how long had she known, and she said for over a month!!  I had no clue, no idea, and I learned how everyone had been in on it including my dad, several of her friends and Sergio (who had been texting her and letting her know when I was out of the office).
christmas-2013-city-hallWhat a rush!  What a relief!  What a gift!!  I left work early and spent the rest of the day catching up, holding hands or just being with her with my arms around her, and just enjoying her company.

The next evening, Christmas Eve, we had a big blazing fire in the fire pit in the backyard with my dad, Sydney’s friend Cheyenne who was home on leave (she enlisted last summer in the Navy), Steve and Eve Mimiaga and even Staci Brown came over to hang out.  The warmth I felt that night could of been the warmer-than-normal weather, or the rum or the fire itself, but it was most definitely the warmth of love and friendship and family.
Cheyanne and SydneyThe rollsChristmas morning I woke up with Sydney Rose, she got up and baked a batch of delicious homemade cinnamon rolls and we made it down to Grandpas for breakfast.  And we went to the movies in the afternoon with the Mimiaga family, and we had dinner at my dad’s as a family.

It was a typical Christmas, but it was also a sort of Christmas miracle for me.  I had been resolved to be without my Syd for the first time since she was born.  And though it was still a frugal Christmas, and we never did get that damn tree up or get the decorations out, I venture to bet it will always be my best Christmas ever.

Christmas Morning

A Couple of Things…Wine Tasting

Posted on by
2

PamI’m not the biggest authority when it comes to wine tasting; in fact, I normally go by whether the wine I’ve been served makes me crinkle my nose or not, so a discernible palate, I’ve yet to develop.

It’s been 20+ years since I went wine tasting; so I was very excited and honored to be included in Kat Merrick’s recent wine tasting excursion.  Her attention to detail and party planning skills are a wonder to behold and the day would have been nothing without her.

The first day of September, right smack dab in the middle of the Labor Day weekend was incredibly hot and humid.  The outing capped off Kat’s Birth-Week which had begun the weekend before with a party at The Tavern with Raging Arb and the Redheads. Kat is one of those women, who like myself, subscribes to the “How to Live Life to the Fullest” philosophies.  Plus, she just cracks me up!

Kat rented a van and my father stepped up as the designated driver for my friends so we wouldn’t have to worry and we would be safe knowing we had a sober driver.  That being said, and with his impeccable driving record to his credit, there was that moment of collective doubt as we exited the freeway and we all saw the stopped line of cars on the offramp, but apparently that didn’t register until the last moment for my father as he slammed on the brakes JUST in time before plowing into the autos waiting to turn.  But that is neither here nor there as it woke us up – in every respect – preparing us for the wine tasting ahead.

We visited four vineyards and took our time at the tasting tables learning about the wines being poured.  The Roberts are members of some wine clubs and as a result our pours were gratis, which I had not expected, but am so appreciative of.  At each location we took our time as we were in no hurry and enjoyed not only each other’s company, but Kat had put together a spread beyond belief.  Appetizers at our first with grapes, cheeses, salami, dried apricots and crackers.  Another one had our main course with amazing turkey sandwiches on artisan bread, as well as pasta salad made with fresh tomatoes from her garden.  Understandably, we never did get around to dessert, we were stuffed!!!

Still very green on the wine tasting front, and with a lot to still learn, I will attempt to impart what knowledge I have learned about wine tasing:

1. Go with someone more experienced than yourself

2. A designated driver, no matter what price, is worth it.

3. Take your time.  Do not rush

4. Don’t finish the glass if you don’t like it.

5. Photo ops are everywhere!  (Extra note: The pictures are better at the beginning of the day instead of the end, when you’re sloppy drunk).

6. Don’t get drunk

7. Sunglasses are mandatory for more than one reason.

8. Learn the term, “Revisit”.

I will now add this to my list of life highlights!  When I get “blue”, which is so rare, all I need to do is to place my attention on any of these highlights, and “Poof!”  Blues begone!

Thanks Kat, Chris, Karen, Wendell and my father Gilbert for a fabulous time!!

100 Year Anniversary of the City Hall Building

Gallery

Posted on by

This gallery contains 26 photos.

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the incredible building I’m lucky to work in as a full time employee (by day) for the City of Ventura.  It originally was built as a courthouse by architect Albert C. Martin, but in … Continue reading →

Ventura Music Week 2013 Wrap Up

Posted on by
2
Ventura Music Week kick off party

Ventura Music Week kick off party

Ventura Music Week (VMW) was put on haphazardly by the City of Ventura the past couple of years.   That’s not a derogatory comment about the City, but rather, a statement of fact.  It wasn’t done properly because they didn’t have a staff and resources backing it up.  They had one individual trying to spearhead it.  Very little support was given.  It was hard work and the end result didn’t get anyone looking forward to the following year.  Eric, our hats go off to you for your efforts.  Eric has since left the City and we miss him dearly.

This year, Peter Brown in Economic Development put out feelers to see if community members would want to take over .  So Kevin Clerici of Downtown Ventura Organization, Kat Merrick of Totally Local VC, David Comden of the VC Reporter came together to see if they could pull it off as a group under the limited guidance and small funding by the City.  Sam Benner of Benner Marketing was invited as his expertise in website design would be valuable, and Gary Stewart of Four Brix Winery had a graphic design background plus he could rally some of the wineries to participate.  I was the last to be invited to the table as a representative of VenturaRocks.com.

There were seven of us working to pull of Ventura Music Week 2013.  No one was being paid.  This was solely a volunteer effort to see this through.

There were a number of meetings before I came on board and there were a number of decisions made that I was not a part of including changing the dates so that VMW aligned with Cash Fest (Roadshow Revival a Tribute to the Music of Johnny Cash).  Another decision made was having highlighted events listed on posters.

The changing of the dates affected few, but those it did, it was a very big deal.  VC Buzz had scheduled (actually rescheduled) their Ventura County Music Awards to align with VMW.  I’m sure they were counting on the momentum of VMW to generate additional interest in their event.  That was unfortunate, but I believe it was done with all the best intentions for VMW itself so there was a major anchor event (Cash Fest).

As for the highlighted events listed on posters, again I believe it was done with the best of intentions so that the venues would work hard on getting extraordinary talent for at least one of the evenings.  If they didn’t, then it would be like any other week in Ventura (which is pretty awesome).   So the group was hoping to inspire highlighted events which would be rewarded with placement on posters and on the VMW website.  The problem?  Venues don’t want to inspire their patrons to go to someone else’s event!    So many of the venues not only didn’t place the posters on their windows, but they verbally complained, and one of them originally refused to pay the agreed fee of $100 to participate.

I still believe the highlighted events is a great idea, but separate posters need to be designed for venues.  Venue posters should state how they are an official VMW venue, and generic info on VMW itself.  Highlighted event posters should be distributed throughout the Ventura county, Santa Barbara county, the Valley and the City of Los Angeles.   They need to what we have to offer so they would want to come to Ventura to hear our music and support VMW.

So you live and learn.

Also, the work load was not distributed evenly.  After the intitial first few meetings, there was never another meeting where all parties participated.  I would say that Kat pulled off at least 50% of the work, I did at least 30, maybe more and the rest was distributed by the remaining members.

Yes Sam created the website from a WordPress template.  And yes Gary created amazing artwork for us and did all the promo for us. David arranged for all the media buys and Kevin helped with Treasury functions and some networking.

But the majority of the work fell on Kat’s shoulders.

My 30-35% including uploading venue information for the VMW weeksite and Facebook page, running around trying to sign up the venues, distributing products to the venues, party set up and tear down, running errands, and then showing up each and every night during the ten nights where I took pictures, and uploaded them at the end of the night, sometimes after 1:00 in the morning.    VMW Facebook page was posted to dozens of times during every day with the events for all the venues, plus a calendar listing for that day.  These I shared on our VenturaRocks.com FB page as well.

The uploading of venue information sounds easily enough, but there were photos to hunt down, upload resize, create posters for, and post for each event for each venue.  We had 100 bands.  30 venues.  10 tens.  1 city.    There was a lot to process just for the web presence.  Plus there were always changes to schedules, and venues were not always available to answer questions or help with the data.  They are busy too after all trying to make a living!

And again, keep in mind, as much work as I personally put into VMW, Kat did even more running around having meetings and getting this thing done.  Crazy, no?

Trying to get venues to sign up was a real interesting exercise.  As VenturaRocks.com, I haven’t had to really work with the venues.  We just helped them (whether they liked it or not.  The Golden China wasn’t even aware of us…Really?  After 4 years guys?).  But now with VMW, we were asking them to participate and to pay $100 to become an official venue.  It wasn’t pretty for some.  There were a few that didn’t participate and it blew my mind!  One of them didn’t pay and the DVO stepped up to grant the money for them…and still they ended up calling it MY VENUE Music Week instead of Ventura Music Week on their personal promo.

And then there were certain musicians who didn’t make it easy on me as well.  They weren’t happy with a photograph, or I had to get their authorization to help promote their gigs.  OUT-FUCKIN’-LANDISH, no?

So I learned that some personalities make doing such an event more of a challenge.  For me, the bottom line is to help make this City prosperous for all.  To make Ventura known as a music destination where people come and spend money in our venues supporting music and our artists and musicians.

For some of the venues, they got it.  For others, they had tunnel vision and it was not about the group effort for our town, but about what was in it for them.    If the town wins and we pull this off, then they win.

We kicked off VMW with an official party at the W Gallery at the corner of California and Main in downtown Ventura.  The VIP portion of the evening saw venue owners, some musicians, key players and councilman Carl Morehouse as well as Mayor Mike Tracy in attendance.  The musicians who played were amazing.  Dan Grimm kicked off the night, then Spencer the Gardener, old school favorites Raging Arb and the Redheads, then the McEuen Brothers.  It was a success and we have the pictures to prove it!

For ten nights we helped to promote Venture Music Week.  Some of the highlights included a screening of Dave Grohl’s film, Sound City: Real to Reel, a visional arts exhibit at the Museusm of Ventura County, a full day all ages concert at Plaza Park called Rock Picnic which included sets by 8Stops7, Army of Freshmen and Rubberneck Lions.  Zoey’s pulled out the stops by having shows which included a show with surfer turned recording artist, Timmy Curran.

It was a great 10 days.  We pulled it off!!!

After all was said and done, I sat down in Peter Brown’s office at City Hall for a short debriefing.  I was tired to be sure, but satisfied until he asked me, “What’s in it for you?”

Stumped, I asked myself, “Jesus,  can’t I just help?”

But now I’ve had time to think about it, and how much work was involved, and how I took seven of my own vacation days to devote to VMW, and how I used my own resources and how I wasn’t able to generate income during those days doing my own website work.  And I have to re-evaluate, “What is in it for me?”

Next year we want to bump this up ten-fold.  We’re going to start working on it 10 months in advance getting sponsorships lined up.  We want to shut down Main Street and have a free concert with a national touring act to kick off the week.  It’s going to be amazing!

But at what personal cost?  How much am I willing to invest in this town for nothing in return?

It’s something I’m going to try not to dwell on as we gear up for 2014.

(See VenturaRocks.com Music Week Kick off party photos)

Jury Duty

Posted on by
Reply

justice_300

As a civil servant, I don’t balk at jury duty like I use to.  For starters, my job with the City covers my pay when I’m serving, plus, I would hope if I ever find myself in trouble, or if I were to need to address a civil matter through the court process, that I would have an eager panel of jurors who were fair and impartial.  But more than that, I find the process utterly fascinating.

It was standing room only on Monday, the day I decided I would report (instead of calling day by day to see if I would be needed).  There were 108 cases pending.  The clerk assured us that 108 was below average and that a busy day would be over 200 cases pending.  My name was included in the first group of 70 to be called up to Court Room #26 presided by Judge Young. As we entered the room I noticed the defendant with headphones on and his Defense lawyer was a pretty blonde.  The DA, a pretty brunette was looking professional yet somber.  There was the judge’s clerk, court reporter, an interpreter for the defendant and two bailiffs.  There wasn’t an empty seat by the time everyone was herded in, and some of us had to take seats up on the juror’s stand.  We were asked to rise as the judge entered the chambers.

I thought I was ready for what was about to unfold as I’ve been summoned over a dozen times, and the last time I served I actually was selected to be a juror; I passed muster so to speak.  It was for a DUI case which the defendant was found guilty.  Why people push the envelope hoping to be found not guilty when clearly, they are, is beyond me.  But we are all given a chance to have our day in court, on our dime.

I have always feared that I would be called upon for a murder trial or worse a trial having to do with gang activity where I would be afraid of the repercussions for serving on that trial.  But it turns out that there is something worse that I hadn’t imagine and I immediately found myself in a cold sweat as the judge disclosed the charges against the defendant sitting quietly in his chair with the translator headphones on.

This was a case of child molestation.

You could see some of the people start to visibly shake as the judge named off five horrific charges this man allegedly did against a child under the age of ten. We would soon learn that victim would be called upon to testify and she would be asked about what body parts he touched and what he did to her and what he made her do to him.  We also learned that the defendant would not be taking the stand.

I’ve known two people personally where a former spouse had lied or had threatened to lie about child abuse or molestation to get custody of their kids, so after the initial shock, I was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt.  It became just a little bit harder to be prepared as the defense attorney on more than one occasion said her client was guilty of certain inappropriate acts, but that we needed to take each charge separately, and not to lump them all together.

For two full days I sat in wait as the judge, DA and Defense attorney grilled prospective jurors.  There were 70 of us at the start, twelve were finally selected, and two were chosen as alternates. There were only ten of us left who were not called upon to be questioned.

During our last break I overheard one of the gentlemen whose name had not been called yet say that he was planning on buying a lottery ticket if he didn’t get called up.

I’ve been thinking about that. I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to serve on a case like this.  But worse yet, is thinking of all the children who never have the chance to get justice.  And I think of all the people who don’t have the backbone to withstand the duress of going through such an emotional trying process. I would like to think I would man up.

Yes, I would have proudly served; and I pray I would have been fair and impartial.

Being a Mother

Posted on by
1
Bonding with Sydney Rose about 2 seconds after she was born.

Bonding with Sydney Rose about 2 seconds after she was born.

Being a mother has been the most important and responsible thing I have done this life time.

As I only managed to get one kid out of my former spouse (a story for another day), I am happy to say that my daughter has exceeded my expectations of motherhood.

It’s an odd thing, the connection between mother and daughter.  As a daughter, and now as a mother.

When I lost my mother at the age of 15, I thought for sure that my life would never be whole again.  But I was wrong.  When my daughter was born, I was at once complete in the universe.  When the nurse placed her on my tummy, and she automatically wrapped her tiny fingers around my forefinger, I knew my life would forever be better because she was in my universe.

I vowed silently, that I would care for this little girl and that I would do my best to make a safe environment for her to grow up in and to thrive in.  I pray to God that I’ve done my best for her.

She has done nothing but made me proud.

The bond I have had with my little girl has enhanced my life and I am a better person because of her.

I love you Sydney Rose!

(Originally posted on Facebook 5/7/11