A Couple of Things…

Posted on April 30, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

1. The year following my divorce, one of the first things I did was to invest in my teeth. I actually went in to get veneers on my top teeth, but when my dentist learned I wanted my bottom teeth fixed the same way he stopped and refused and said he would not ruin ALL my teeth. So I wore braces for a year, he whiten my teeth, and I couldn’t be happier. Best investment I ever made in myself.

Note: Having crooked teeth never stopped me from smiling, but having a straight smile took my attention off myself and put it on the person I was actually smiling at. Does that make sense?

2. Clearly a mistake.

I took another one of those Facebook questionnaires to estimate what age I actually am, and it determined I was nine years old. So some are not so flawed.

3. Cinco de Mayo is coming up and like most holidays, it’s just a sneaky way to get out with friends and have a great time. Guac, carnitas, shots of Patron? What could possibly go wrong?

4. A musician friend here in town gave me good advice when I bought by new fender stratocaster, he said just pick it up and play it everyday. Doesn’t matter how long. Well I’ve been playing it often (not every single day), and I find the more often I play, the longer I want to play. I’m remembering songs I learned YEARS ago and I’m having fun, so much so, I actually got a mini blister on my pinkie.

Thank you Beatles for the reality, but, “I’ve got blisters on my fingers!” is now stuck in my head.

5. I have a confession. I would have another baby in a heartbeat, but it would take a serious miracle.

6. I am grateful that someone was clever enough to come up with denim material that stretches…just a little bit.

7. Speaking of clothes. The other day I was multi-tasking and while cooking dinner (yeah, I know! Me cook right?!) I was folding clothes at the kitchen table and taking them to my room while stirring and mixing and stuff. After I finished cooking, I took my meal to my room to eat while working on websites. The next morning I got up early for work and there on one of the kitchen chairs was one of my sexiest pairs of panties. I can’t help but wonder what my roommate’s expression was if he saw them! He’s like 75 years old and we rarely even speak!

8. The problem with Molly is that I always compare her to Kitty Sanchez and I know that isn’t fair. I wouldn’t have ever compared child #2 to Sydney Rose if I had ever had one (wink wink Sydney, you know you’re my fav); but Kitty Sanchez was in fact the best cat in the whole wide world; and Molly, is a kitty snob, she treats you like Pepe le Pew when you pick her up.

9. I may have been too quick to smack down “smack talk from people about the Clippers being owned by Sterling. But you know what? More than anything, THEY need to support this team. There is no room for that sort of bigotry in this world let alone in the fuckin’ NBA. Are you kidding me? This smack talk sounds like they’re accusing Clipper fans of supporting racism. Give me a small break!
Or worse, they get joy out of the misery of others??? Either way, inappropriate in my book. Its probably a good thing that I have never wanted to commit to a specific franchise. I just love a good team, and Chris Paul brings it.

10. (Okay, deep breath…) Speaking of sports (and my attempt to lighten the mood), back in radio they’d send me out to host Monday Night Football where quickly my air name Stephanie Rose morphed into Stephster the Refster, with a referee shirt and a whistle to grab fans attention when it was time to give away crap. Never mind I knew very little about the game and never mind I cared even less about it. But I did enjoy shaking hands, shooting pool and getting to know the guys who hung out for it. Tough job working a room full of mostly men, while partaking in libations and bar food. 🙂

Side story: whilst pregnant with Syd Rose (sans libations), I had only one food craving during my entire pregnancy and that was for Tabasco. I craved ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as long as it had Tabasco on it. Popcorn, burritos, eggs, I couldn’t get enough of it. I discovered this while hosting Monday Night Football and being served hot wings, with yes, Tabasco on them.
What could my body possibly be lacking to cause the craving? Vinegar?

11. I went out dancing with Maggie recently and a well-known gentleman about town asked me to dance. I’ve danced with Jerry before so I knew going in I would be taken care of. He basically does the two-step with a little salsa thrown in for fun. When I caught Maggie taking a photo, you should have seen the stink eye I gave her. Too bad she didn’t capture that one!

12. Here’s the deal, I signed up for that LinkedIn JUST to shut them up. I’ve never dealt with a more persistent entity before! All those requests for me to accept an invitation to… blah blah blah. Well I finally did about a year ago and thought well maybe it might be a good networking tool.
I just got an email where the Subject said: “Congrats, you got 1 profile view last week‏” So I guess my efforts on LinkedIn have been really paying off.

13. From my favorite quotes file: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Posted on April 23, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

1. This is what I come home to. I love my puppy dog. We’re thinking she’s about 13 or 14 years old. I’ve had her 12 years and they thought she was a couple years old when I picked her up from the pound. Samantha “Boom Boom” Baumgardner.

This by the way is also what I leave everyday. It’s like she’s saying, “You’re coming back, right?”

2. I understand that the 9-1-1 emergency call system is a public service. I also understand the “rights to public records” but honestly, the media playing 9-1-1 tapes seems like an invasion of privacy. Some of these calls are at the person’s most vulnerable moments and they’ve become entertainment for the masses.

3. Bike to Work Day is coming up! I had to post the news on the City’s official website. It’s a great way to exercise; it’s a fantastic way to start the day; and it helps the environment! (click to enlarge photo)

So ride your freakin’ bike to work on May 15th!!!

4. I wrote a blog a few weeks back called, “Being a Victim Sucks“, and how some people will play the victim. One aspect of being a victim is not wanting to take responsibility, but the other aspect, and I’m warning you this could be harsh, is to just make the other person wrong, Wrong, WRONG.

I’ve seen it. I’ve done it. It’s a completely bullshit thing to do.

5. If you don’t take a stand against bad behavior you are tacitly agreeing it is okay.

Just sayin’.

6. The first song we ever sang together while listening to the radio was “Where it’s At” by Beck. Syd would sing “Where’s it’s At” and I would come in with “I got two turntables and a microphone.” This was around 1997 or 1998 when the song was all over the radio, so Sydney had to be only three or four years old.

True story

Most parents go with “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round” Not this Mom!

7. Let me just say right off the bat, it must have been horrifying being attacked by a bear. That being said…

I confess that this news story of a woman in Florida being attacked by a bear made me kind of chuckle. She had walked into her garage where she found up to five bears rummaging through her trash. One of them picked her up and removed her and placed her in her driveway.

The bear obviously could have killed and eaten her. But he didn’t. It’s truly unfortunate that he has huge claws and sharp teeth because they did damage to her while removing her from harm’s way so they could continue their business.
(full story)

8. I conceded a few years ago that I do in fact have an hour-glass figure, but for most of my life my own attention just went to the bottom half of my body and I always felt awkward about that. I had “birthin’ hips” and they were what determined every single outfit I’ve ever worn.

9. I like it!

10. I was killing time in Trader Joe’s the other day (a dangerous thing to do), and I found peanut butter that had only peanuts and salt listed on the label. I had read about it before and thought perhaps it was just an urban legend, but it’s true! And though I have to refrigerate the jar after stirring up the PB, I’m digging it!

11. So I was sitting there minding my own business (playing “Shoot Bubble Deluxe” on my phone) during a weekly work meeting one morning, when the subject of Monkey Butt came up. That got my attention because I had never heard the term. One of the guys was complaining he didn’t want to exercise that afternoon (crossfit) because he had developed a rash from the gravel on the ground at the top of his, um….crack. The guys insisted it was a real thing so when I got the chance, I Googled it.

What came up was this: “Relieve the friction of monkey butt and painful butt rash…” http://www.antimonkeybutt.com. They even have a Facebook page.

How funny is that? I guess if you pay enough attention, you never stop learning.
(I thought it nicer to share a photo of Shoot Bubble Deluxe than an actual case of monkey butt. You’re welcome.)

From my favorite quotes file: “A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” – Bill Cosby

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Posted on April 15, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

96-ZTR around 1990

1. I’m not exactly sure when I lost my shyness and decided to just work through the panic and fear of being in front of people, but somewhere along the way I did. See when you work in radio, you just have to overcome nervousness on one level, which is trying not to sound stupid; but live in person, that’s a whole different story and it has it’s own set of fears to overcome.

I remember watching Craig Powers from KEZY in Anaheim do live broadcasts. He was the master and he just ate it up. He was so calm and so “on” when that microphone went live. I learned a lot just watching him.

After I left KEZY and moved on to Ventura and KZTR with my first full-time on air position, and later with KXBS the Bus, I knew I wanted to be like Craig, but I was so introverted and worried about what people thought of me. I really did suck at it; but for some reason the station managers insisted on sending me out to shake hands, kiss babies, bowl in leagues, do remote broadcasts, introduce bands at concerts (I think David Cassidy at the Ventura Theater was one of my first) and host radio events and before long I calmed down and started to have some fun with it. The dumbest yet bravest thing I ever did was to sing Karaoke, I can’t carry a tune to save my life and the audience loved it.

But I do remember the very first time ever I did something live on air was when I was in college taking radio broadcasting classes and doing shifts on KBPK, and one of the assignments was to go out during “A Night in Fullerton” and do some interviews with random people. I don’t think I said a coherent thing (and I even had questions written on index cards) and I certainly didn’t hear a single word the person was saying, which is a critical point when doing an interview, you actually have to listen to them while preparing your next question. I was a frazzled mess by the end of the evening.

My advice: “Practice, practice, practice!!!”

2. The title of an article found on The Onion website, “Poll Finds the Majority of Americans Have Never Met Willem Defoe.”

Classic!

3. Great news! I was telling a co-worker about my one degree of separation from Kevin Bacon and she pointed out that since she knew me, she now only had two degrees. So I thought I’d inform you that since you know me, you too now only have two degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

You’re welcome!

(click here for original story)

4. One of the funniest blogs I’ve read in a while was called, “Ode to the Medium-Sized Woman,” by Isabel Foxen Duke. Before I started exercising, I could totally relate to a couple of these:

“I can literally wear S, M or L depending on the brand, and sometimes, I’ll size out of a brand altogether.”
“I would never be called “overweight” or “plus-size” or “heavy” or “the F-word” (you know, Fat).”
“I’ve definitely had sex with guys that weigh less than me, but I don’t think they knew that at the time.”

Too funny!

5. There are some movies that I can watch over and over, others that were a complete waste of my time and I soon forget, but there are just a few which really left a lasting impression, but I could never watch again for their disturbing nature:

Requiem for a Dream
Adaptation
The Butterfly Effect
Ted
Cape Fear

Yeah I know, Ted? Really? REALLY.

6. I have a confession. I will not miss David Letterman.

He use to be clever and funny, but since his open-heart surgery, he just became more pessimistic and mean. I am pleased that Steven Colbert will replace him.

7. Recent MSN article on Healthy Living called, “The 14 Best Things You Can Do For Your Body”.

“You don’t need anyone to tell you to have more sex, but it doesn’t hurt that research is piling up about the benefits of getting busy. Regular time spent behind closed doors can make you look and feel younger, reduce stress, boost immunity, enhance sleep, protect against prostate cancer and improve cardiovascular health. What’s more, a 25-year study from Duke University found that the more sex you have, the longer you’ll live. Guys, I think we’ve discovered the fountain of youth.”

What’s funny to me is that they spent 25 years studying this. LOL!!! “Um yeah Dean, we need more grant money to continue this study, because (wink wink) it’s really important work.

I’m guessing, these people who lived longer were actually mentally and physically healthy and as a result, they enjoyed sex more often.

8. I hope when I die, that my wake is a celebration, especially for my family and close friends. I’m pretty sure I won’t be hanging around, I’ll be ready for my next adventure, so feel free to talk about me behind my back. 😉

9. Typically when my father calls me “Little girl”, I know I’m in trouble. Thankfully after the age of 21, I stopped caring.

(Sydney at the Cross April 2013)

10. I had to call my daughter up in Oregon from my tax accountant’s office to ask whether she had claimed that she was a dependent or not when she filed her taxes earlier this year; then she started to upbraid me because she said it was just a few days before taxes were due. I had to stop her right there and point out, “No baby, they are actually due tomorrow.”

That didn’t help my case.

11. People who are intentional cruel, who seek to bring harm are even more scary because they truly believe they are justified in their actions.

People who are intentional nice, who seek to bring happiness to others rock even more because they truly believe in the brothership of mankind.

Thankfully the truly evil are only 2%.

People who are just typically mean and in a bad mood are not included in the two-percenters, because a lot depends on their environment and so they are constantly at effect…instead of at cause over their life. They just need an attitude adjustment…or a vacation or better still, get rid of the assholes in their lives. 🙂

12. From my favorite quotes file: “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”
― Albert Einstein

A Couple of Things…

Posted on April 11, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

1. Did I ever mention I’m listed on Wikipedia? They used my maiden name (Pam Sanchez), but also gave my air name which was Stephanie Rose! My first job was working both the AM, KPZE and the FM sides at KEZY. This article just covers the AM history of AM 1190.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KGBN

2. Elephant Journal posted a blog called How to Say No (in 25 Bad A**Ways).
Number 16 is my favorite:
#16 “Fuck no. That would be stupid.”

3. April 8th was Equal Pay day. It symbolizes how much further women would have to work at the same job to receive the same pay men did in 2013. It illustrates the gap between men’s and women’s wages.
I still hold resentment from being paid less as a woman Program Director (and full-time on-air position) at my radio station than a male office manager. Later, I was told it was because he was the sole breadwinner for his family. I still call “bullshit” on that one.

Here’s more on that: http://www.pay-equity.org/day.html

4. Yusuf wrote an article for Rolling Stone Magazine about how he (Cat Stevens) felt about being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I LOVE Tea for the Tillerman and I still listen to it quite often. This is what he said:

“The announcement of my enrollment into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will certainly bring happiness to a lot of my loyal fans, and fulfillment to all those who have long campaigned for it – not to mention how kinda tickled it makes me feel too.”

I love how it kinda tickled him!

5. I’m loving the new trend – well at least the effort to start a new trend – of converting lawns to gardens. I believe you still would need a green thumb to pull that off though.

6. I read an article titled, “The 3 Best Ways to Beat Sugar Cravings.” Listed as number 3: “The Psychologist says…walk away.”

Do you really need a degree to come up with that one?

7. Tipping Smart Cars? Funny yes, but not cool.
Three Smart Cars were recently found “tipped” in San Francisco. Hot Rod Magazine posted an editorial online in an attempt to nip this activity in the bud, and I support their efforts. To quote John Travolta in Pulp Fiction, “Don’t fuck with another man’s vehicle. It’s against the rules.”

8. Whenever I watch a really good musician play acoustic guitar I like to pay attention to their fret work and try to figure out what they’re do. Usually when I go up to meet them, they ask if I play, and I always reply with a chuckle, “not really.” That always gets the understanding nod.

9. I’ve always enjoyed reading. The most recent novel I read was the fourth novel from Helen Fielding regarding Bridget Jones. It was called “Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy.” I blushed throughout the novel because parts of it hit too close to home. But honestly, I’m hoping for the same happy ending for me. I’m an eternal optimist!

10. OH!!! Last February I wrote about my one degree of separation from Kevin Bacon and how we ended up with the cardboard cut out they used when Kevin Bacon guest starred on Will and Grace. Well that exact episode was on the other day so I took a picture of my T.V. Can you imagine walking into your office and seeing Kevin Bacon standing there?
https://acoupleofthings.us/2014/02/25/a-couple-of-things-34/

11. Peter Matthiessen passed away Saturday, April 4, 2014, just days before his latest novel, “In Paradise” was to be released. He was quoted as saying that he wanted readers of “In Paradise” to consider the potential for evil in all of us. “The number of people killed in the past century — human beings killing each other is phenomenal, you know?” Matthiessen said. “How has civilization — so called — come this far and people are still designing tools to kill each other? For no other purpose than killing. Why are we doing it? Why are we doing it?”

Okay, the potential is there. But gratefully the majority of us rise above it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I’ve shared this quote before, but it ubber appropriate here:

“Be the change you wish to see in the World.” Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Posted on April 6, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

1. This photo is proof that I can laugh at myself. And my dad too!!!! Matching perms!
HAHAHAHA!
The 80’s really did suck! Bad hair, bad furniture.

2. You will know when I win the lottery by two things.
a. I buy a new home on the hillside overlooking the ocean.
b. I own a car that does not remind me of the motorboats at Disneyland.
Otherwise, everything for awhile should be status quo.

3. I admit I got a little excited and may have started to salivate when I read that In-N-Out added bacon to its menu.
Sadly it was an April Fool’s joke posted by FoodBeast.com.
They even had a name for it, “Piggy style” complete with a photo.

Bastards!

4. I was thinking I should start acting my age, or at the very least dressing it. Then I woke up in a cold sweat. That was a close one! 😉

5. I’m considering adding “I met Trent Reznor in New Orleans in 1997” to my resume. Couldn’t hurt.

6. I remember clear as day the moment I realized I was not five and a half feet tall. It was when my doctor tried to inform me while going over my vital statistics during my annual physical that I was in fact 5′ 4″. See I thought I was 5′ 5″, which also isn’t five and half, but the number five seems like it’s half, but really isn’t. Make sense? So I after questioning my doctor’s methodology, he conceded that I was exactly 5′ 4.5″… so you know… Five-Five.

7. To this day, it still makes me giggle when someone calls me a baller. See logically I know they are referring to the fact that I love to play basketball. But in the 70’s, it meant something COMPLETELY different. Even as I’m writing this, I’m giggling. 😉

8. When I was pregnant with Sydney Rose, I started a journal of sorts for her. I wrote about how I was feeling during the pregnancy and the story about when I felt her kick for the first time, about her family history, about my hopes and dreams for her. I added all kinds of pictures for her including her footprints when she was born. I wrote in it until she was about three or four years old, then I promptly forgot about it!

I Found it and handed it over this past year. God how I wish my mother had done that for me. I hope Syd does that for my future grand kids.

9. LOVING the new Better Than Ezra single called “Crazy Lucky”.

10. Compassion is a sign of strength.” – The Dali Lama

Thanks for listening.

Being a Victim Sucks

Posted on April 5, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

Being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing. But living your life as a victim is something entirely different. Unfortunately, those sort of victims can’t see the forest for the trees. For them, life is a continuous battle, to which they can do nothing about. Helping them shift over to slight gentle cause is about all you can do for them. You can’t make them be responsible because to be responsible, it has to be a personal choice. You CAN NOT make them. If you think you can, they’ll just be a victim of you making them, and that is not responsibility. You’ll be the cause of their woes at that point.

You see the worst part of trying to be friends with a victim is that they have it all figured out how it’s the other person’s fault, or how circumstances work against them. They rarely rise above this bullshit and have the guts to look at themselves for why things always seem to go wrong for them. And no matter how much you listen or work with them, they slide right back to that safe spot called victim.

I also know from personal experience that it does not serve that person to coddle them and let them continue to do so. Unfortunately they consider that mean, which you know, keeps them at victim.

Harsh? Yes. After so many losses and upsets in one’s life, it’s so much easier to settle in at “victim.” I understand, I dabbled in “victimdom”. It really sucked. And I’ll be honest; I’ve had a lot of counseling to help me work out those issues, and I finally had a blinding cognition, that I am totally and solely responsible for my life. It’s not scary, it’s just the truth. I let that cognition empower me to build the life I want to have. And I chose to not surround myself with cruel people who thrive on keeping others down.

But I thank my friends who don’t coddle me and I do my best to surround myself with those who take responsibility for their lot in life and make it go right to create the life they want to lead.

Again, being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing. Strong responsible people learn to come to terms and handle and either use their experiences to empower others, or they move on if they are physically able to do so.

I take a lot of credit for all the strong brilliant friends I have. I’m here to empower and I’m here to listen, but only if you want true help.

I love you man!

Matt Cooper – In Memoriam

Posted on April 1, 2014 by A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

This was originally written on April 2, 2013, the day after Matt passed:

Matt passed away last night.

Matt Cooper was a special soul. He lived life by his standards. He was inspirational.

KXBS, The Bus, would not have been the same without him and Brother Rob on the morning show. GOD I LOVED DANO!!! And I didn’t even like sports!

We had so much fun going out in the community “shaking hands and kissing babies” and making the radio station stand out from the rest. We cared. He cared. And he took his position seriously.

I’ll never forget those music meetings where we would all gather up in our office and Matt would introduce the music he would be presenting to “the committee”. You could tell he was excited by certain tunes, but tried to be fair for all of them.

Of course there were those moments that stand out more than others, like when he played the wrong cut of a song’s intro and empathically dropped the “F” bomb live on air. Was it Bloodhound Gang? I knew something was wrong when all of a sudden there was dead air…and EVERYONE was laughing!!

Hanging out at the beach or shooting hoops. You guys were my boys.

I can not help but smile that Matt passed on April Fool’s Day. Now that’s a statement!

Love you Matt Cooper. You made your mark on Ventura.

Pam
aka Stephanie Rose

(I wrote a blog about attending Matt’s funeral:
https://acoupleofthings.us/2013/04/13/i-went-to-a-funeral-today/)

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A Couple of Things…

A thought or two from Pam Baumgardner

Monthly Archives: April 2014

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Being a Victim Sucks

Matt Cooper – In Memoriam