So…Happy New Year! As I write this, today is January 1, 2020. I have not written a blog since last March for a number of reasons but mostly because I lost my father on April 9, 2019. What I’ve learned is that you can’t really predict how you’ll handle a death. I thought I had it figured out as we had time to prepare. He had been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer the previous spring; it was a long year in many ways, yet a short year in many ways as well. I’ll be honest, I feared and dreaded that my dad would succumb to bitterness and anger, something so many people faced with pain do. But he remained dignified and always looked strong while his body betrayed him. Even during his final days I thought we had another month with him.
My dad, less than a week before he passed away.
I was with him his final night. He had grown weaker and hospice supplied a hospital bed that evening at 8:30 to make him more comfortable and so I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting up in the middle of the night and falling. The last thing anyone wanted was for him to end up in the hospital. We had spent the previous day together indoors and then outdoors in the sunshine in the backyard. He talked about many things, I tried my best to alleviate his worries he had about those he was leaving behind. In any case, that final evening, I slept on the couch with the hospital bed nearby in the same room. I knew immediately something had happened. It was about 12:30 am and I got up, and saw he was peaceful with no pain in his face. He had passed. I kissed his brow and said, “Good job Dad.”
The next few days were a blur, but I was surrounded by loving family and friends who I am indebted to for their kindness and support.
I compiled photos and short stories and anecdotes dedicated to life and created a website for him: www.GilbertRSanchez.com. He was 84 years old.
After writing the above, and then reading what I wrote, I’ve taken a deep breath and know that 2020 is the year to move forward. Not necessarily to “let go”, but I have to confess that I’ve had this thought in the back of my mind that it would be disrespectful to be joyful and happy, but you know that is exactly what he would want for the ones he loves, for Sydney, for Carol, for all his family and friends, and of course for myself, so onto 2020 and creating that life he thinks I deserve.
A Couple of Things…
1. Last July, the day after my birthday, I adopted two senior dogs. They came as “Bambi” and “Lady” but I immediately dubbed them “Barney” and “Missy.” They are 11 and 12 years old respectively and Barny, the tan one, is a Shih Tzu Maltese mix and Missy is a Shih Tzu (she may have been a puppy mill dog, and I’m pretty certain Barney’s mother). I melt every time I open the door to these faces.
Barnie and Missy
2. I got a promotion at work! I’m a Management Technician, no longer a Secretary. That’s quite a title, right? I get to handle all the Engineering Capital Improvement Project files for Design. I make sure contracts, insurance, terms and payments are handled.
3. I will be traveling abroad this year with Linda. We are going to Italy. I got my passport a couple of weeks ago in the mail, we’re working with a travel agent to line up our flights and hotels but most importantly, I need to learn key phases such as “Where is the wine?”
Thank god for online translators, I now have the following phrase embedded in my mind, “Dov’e il vino?”
4. A couple of highlights from the past year were being asked to emcee shows: the Topa Mountain Music Fest at Libbey Bowl in Ojai, and the fundraiser for Tommy and Paddy Marsh at Oak and Main.
5. I spent Christmas in Ashland, Oregon, with Sydney Rose as she has to work (I have time I can take off), it’s super cute there, and home just reminds me too much that this is my first Christmas without my dad. We had a blast as always talking about everything under the sun, taking walks, playing backgammon and on Christmas we took in a movie (our tradition) at the local theater. We saw Bombshell and settled in with a tub of popcorn knowing that would be our dinner, but the butter flavored oil they used could not have been further from butter tasting if you tried. It was made out of soy which I guess Vegans would love. I had to move the tub two seats down so I couldn’t smell it anymore!
6. Back to Bombshell, the movie is about taking down Roger Ailes for sexual harassment at Fox News. We both really enjoyed it. Charlize Theron needs to be nominated for best actress portraying Megyn Kelly as well as Chalize’s make up artist. I didn’t even realize it was her until she spoke!
7. I would venture to say this is one of my top peeves: when listening to the personal recording of the person I want to leave a phone message for and they say, “I will get back to you at my earliest convenience.” I’ve even seen that in an automatic response on emails when the person is away from the office.
That’s just rude! You’re suppose to say, “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can” or something along those lines. The correct way to use the phrase is the other way around, “Please get back to ME at YOUR earliest convenience.” Of course, these folks could actually know what they’re saying and just be that rude! My Water Store has that greeting.
8. You know I’ve had my own music scene column in the Ventura Breeze newspaper for over five years, but I always get a kick when I get quoted every year in the VC Reporter
9. You’re not one of those people who thinks 2020 is the start of a new decade are you???
10. From my favorite quotes files: “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey
Thanks for listening!
1. Apparently I’m not the only one, but I am so relieved for Daylight Saving Time. Sure I miss that hour like crazy, but I’ll have the correct time in my car again, at least for six months. One of these days I’ll figure out how to adjust the time in my VW, but probably not before I turn it in as my lease is up in September.
4. Funny story: a co-worker confided in me while discussing going to mass for Ash Wednesday that she sometimes has to say an extra prayer afterwards…on a count of swearing to herself about how much ash was put on her forehead. #ThatWouldBeMe
6. Let’s talk movies.
9. If I ever write a book, I think I’ll call it, “But I like my Turkey dry”.
12. Time really flies. You realize that when you hit certain milestone anniversaries…such as VenturaRocks.com serving Ventura for ten years!!
I spent Valentine’s Day with my Dad and Carol, we had a delightful time at The Water’s Edge with a table overlooking the Ventura Harbor. #TwoMartiniMeal
Every time I think I’m not “high maintenance” I remember how particular I am about ordering eggs in a restaurant. #HateCrustyEggs #PanTooHot
May I just say that I never miss the opportunity to view photos of firemen with puppies or kittens. That’s just hot, and probably sexist. #ImOkayWithThat
VenturaRocks.com is coming up on it’s 10th anniversary. I seriously contemplated pulling the plug, but then I put out a call for help on financing the domain name, hosting, security, even my fee for hosting my radio show on public access radio, and the response was tremendous. So here’s to another year of supporting Ventura’s music scene! #VenturaRocks
1. I can’t even put into words (though clearly, I’m attempting to do so) how much it meant to me to be asked to emcee the 805 Love Notes Thomas Fire Benefit concert at the Ventura Theater. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t nervous about being in front of a large crowd, but I was nervous about crying in front of a large crowd as we reflect on what so many friends and family have had to go through after losing their homes and how our community has come together to help, well, it just moves me to tears. My voice did crack a couple times, and I had to stop briefly, but I held it together.
3. Some mornings start better than others.
5. Last month while visiting my daughter for Christmas, I made it go right to catch up with a dear old friend of mine, John Nyman. He and his wife moved to Portland about a year ago. It’s been way too many years since the last time we saw each other, I think it was at my wedding in 89. In any case, we yapped it up with Sydney Rose in tow for over an hour in a coffee shop, and afterwards I kicked myself for not having Sydney take a photo of the two of us. So I did the next best thing. I grabbed a photo of him from his FB page and a photo of myself and photoshopped them together. He has not changed at all, except for the beard!
7. I love that my dad and Carol “Represent” when they step out for jazz. This is Nate Birkey from NYC. My dad came to know him when he played here in Ventura in the 90’s at a popular hub for jazz, California 66 (now Cafe Fiore)..
11. Another Thomas Fire Benefit is lined up for Saturday, February 3, and this one headlines Kevin Costner and Modern West along with Olivia Newton John, Colbie Caillat, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and more. I was asked if I wanted to do any interviews and all I really needed was a couple of quotes for an article about the event, so I submitted questions for Kevin Costner, who said he would rather have it be more personable and preferred speaking with me instead. So yeah, me and Kevin are tight now.
For two weeks we were in a thick haze, literally. The smoke was so harsh and thick, and toxic that everyone in town wore safety masks. People were keeping indoors as much as possible and sealing up their homes to try to avoid contact from all the ash, especially those first few days. Smoke and ash from forest fires are different from smoke and ash from homes that have burn. Houses contain asbestos, aluminum, copper, and all kinds of ugly toxic materials. The City was giving out boxes of masks for free. I wore a mask outdoors at all times as the air did not clear until Sunday, December 17.
I took myself off social media for several weeks as the images and sad stories became overwhelming. That along with working at City Hall with these industrial strength, incredibly LOUD air purifiers blowing 24/7 for over four weeks, trying to help frustrated citizens, and then walking out everyday to a view that made my heart fall, every single day. (I took center photo, the two others are from social media).
This image still makes me smile. Yeah, I may know who placed the mask on the Father Serra statue out in front of City Hall…but I’ll never tell. (photo credit: Sheldon Brown)
It was the perfect way to end 2017. We met for early evening cocktails which evolved into a three hour dinner at Lure…where the service was superior, the food delicious and the libations spot on. The conversations were witty, inspiring, and soul soothing. It’s so important to surround oneself with people who uplift and empower others.
I spent Christmas in Portland this year with my favorite girl in the whole wide world, Sydney Rose. I was only there for four days, but we made the most of it, spending much needed time out of Ventura, and as if on cue, it magically began to snow on Christmas Eve. It was perfect!
They call it “The Social Event of the Year” with family and friends strolling downtown Main Street, live music, snow fall, crafts and food booths, and a Wine Walk for those who enjoy the fermented juice of grapes. It seems to me that the more you partake the less you care about that initial, sometimes sour sensation on the palate.
1. Thanksgiving this year was so nice. Family, friends, a beautiful table in a gorgeous setting. So much to be grateful for this year. Some Thanksgivings are more stressful than others, but this year I have to say was one for the books. Everyone contributed to the success of the day, each dish a delight, but what I’ll always remember is the warmth of gathering with people who make you feel so damn good.
The Partridge Family Album with “I Can Feel Your Heartbeat” and “I Think I Love You” on it. I bought copy after copy of Tiger Beat magazine just so I could put up posters of David on my bedroom walls. Of course my love for the Partridge Family gave way to my love of the Rolling Stones and I never looked back; however, when I worked for KXBS during their Oldies phase, I was asked to introduce David Cassidy at the Ventura Theater around 1992. I got to meet my teen idol. He was super sweet, and put on one hell of a show. It wasn’t on my “To-do” list like meeting Dave Grohl, but it was pretty damn cool.
5. I came across a meme on Instagram and I had to share it. It featured a “generic” photo of a man sitting in front of a fireplace petting a cat to his right and it read:
8. There are nefarious characters out there on the web creating robots that troll websites and fill out forms, so whenever you come across a form online, you are sometimes asked to fill out a line that that’s called a 
1. I kayaked for the first time thanks to my good friend Diana. She took me out in the Ventura Keys on a gorgeous calm morning recently. It’s a little cumbersome getting all the equipment together and launching these water crafts, but it’s great for the senses and helps tone those arms.
2. My father celebrated birthday #83 In October. Dinner at Aloha, a little jazz at Squashed Grapes, it was a good night. 🙂
3. I gave my father a copy of this photo in a frame for his birthday. Yeah, that’s me and dad on the far left, I must have been around 8 years old. An old friend from school came across it and sent it to me earlier this year. She’s next to me with her father, her name is Laura. What a treasure, no? Look at how geeky we look, and trust me, we worked hard at getting all dolled up like this. My mother is mostly to blame for the hairdo, however, the dress was all me.
4. Also in October, the Ventura Breeze celebrated their 10-year anniversary. Sheldon, the publisher, takes the staff out annually to help show his appreciation. I also celebrated my anniversary with the paper; Sheldon asked me if I would write a Ventura Music Scene column four years ago. Well he didn’t have to ask twice and I haven’t missed a single deadline either!
6. In September, I saw my first owl in the wild. It was sitting in a tree in the parking lot behind City Hall. He hung out for several weeks, but I haven’t seen him lately. I have to say, it was thrilling! I wish I had a better photo; I took this one with my cell phone camera. Many thanks to Derrick for bringing me out to see it. This has been crossed off my “to-do” list. #IDontBelieveInBucketLists
7. I mentioned surviving another birthday last time around, but I came across this photo and thought I’d share it. A quick toast: “Here’s to family and friends, missing friends, and surrounding yourself with people who make you feel great.”
9. Confession: I took part in Hands Across America. I had my bosses’ kids in the car with me (yeah I got suckered into babysitting for him) and I saw people lined up with a big ole’ gap in the line, so we all hopped out and took part on that day, a Sunday, May 25, 1986.
1. I’m happy to report I survived my birthday again this year. From swimming in the ocean and hanging at the beach with some fabulous women, lunch and dinner with friends and family, music and the band (Crooked Eye Tommy) singing to me, I’m feeling blessed. I’m overwhelmed by all the Facebook posts, cards, emails, phone calls, and texts, including one husband/wife team sending me a recording of them singing Happy Birthday just before midnight (they wanted to be the last people to wish me a Happy Birthday). I truly felt the love. Thank you!!
nager. This is where I had the epiphany that my radio heroes (from KMET) were just regular folks and as a result I decided to chase my childhood dream of being on the radio playing great music. I returned to college, got a degree and worked fifteen years on air, and just recently returned to producing a weekly show here in Ventura on KPPQ-LP.
6. Up until about seven years, I never ever took physical fitness seriously. In fact, I use to “pretend” to exercise during gym class in high school. I don’t think I ever broke a sweat until I started jogging around 2015. So when it came to taking a P.E. class in college in the 80s, my choices were limited. I had to take one to get a degree, but of course I knew I couldn’t fake it in college, so I decided to take archery. I actually enjoyed it and became sort of skilled at it, but I’m pretty sure my heart rate never got over 100. This was basically me being “lazy” and of a sloth-like demeanor…that is until Hunger Games came out and then Wonder Woman. Now I say, “Yeah, I’m badass; I can shoot a bow and arrow, I took archery in college!”
A Couple of Things... 