Love Bill Watterson’s sense of humor!

1.  As a parent you do your best to make a safe environment for your kids so they can flourish.  As a kid, this NEVER made sense to me.

2.  I think it’s a tad rude, at the very least, disrespectful, to not give credit when using someone else’s quote on Facebook.   It looks like that person is saying it for the very first time, when in reality, it’s actually plagiarism.   Tsk Tsk.

If you don’t know source, then state, “Source Unknown.”

3.  I don’t watch any reality TV, in fact, I don’t watch any shows that have a running storyline.  But I do enjoy listening to my co-workers talk about them.  Especially when they’re talking Sons of Anarchy.  Cracks me up!!!  Didn’t even know Dave Navarro was on it!

4.  The American Birding Association has named this Plover chick as the cutest U.S. bird.. VERY cute!  (This is to make up for the blobfish on last post)

5.  I kind of miss the Swiffer commercials featuring Player’s “Baby Come Back.”

6.  I confided in a friend not too long ago about a situation that makes me sad and she warned me that she would literally kick this person’s ass if she came across him.   Seriously!   On one hand, I’m so honored that she loves me so much she would resort to violence to protect me from being hurt.  On the other hand, kind of scary.

7.  A read a blog that John Nyman had shared on his Facebook paged called “What People Really Look Like.”  And I was interested to know from this masseuse who has seen all types of bodies that “Women have cellulite.  All of them.”   And then he goes on to say, “It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels,and not having emerged from an airbrush.”

The writer’s name is Dale Favier, and I think I love him.

(read his blog:  http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/09/what-people-really-look-like-dale-favier/)

8.  I don’t understand how someone hasn’t come up with a women’s dress shoe that conforms to the shape of your foot.  I hate pain! (I say this as I add another bandage to the side of my right baby toe).

9.  Speaking of fashion, I can’t even begin to explain how I could care less about New York Fashion Week.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen one outfit I would want to wear let alone one outfit I would want to see anybody else wearing in day-to-day living.   What a complete waste of gratuitous, self-absorbing mutherfu…time…wait.  Maybe I would wear that red top…hmmm.

10.  Someone recently posted a bunch of High School essay metaphors.  They were really funny.  I’m sharing five of my favorites:

a. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
b. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
c. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
d. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
e. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

11.  A couple of times a year when the Lottery or Powerball, or whatever game gets really large, a co-worker will come by and collect for a Group Pool to buy in to.  I always contribute a couple of dollars because I’M NOT GOING TO BE THAT LOSER left behind.

We haven’t won yet.

12.  I remember being so brave when my Aunt Evelyn pierced my ears for the very first time when I was around 10 years old.  After numbing my earlobe with an ice cube, she ran a simple sewing needle through my first ear, I heard the pop, and I promptly passed out.

13.  From my “Favorite Facebook Posts” file:  “Normal is boring.”  Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. Dalai Lama

Thanks for listening!