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About A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

Living the good life in Ventura, CA.

A Couple of Things…

The Predator (the cat, not my daughter Sydney)
The Predator (the cat, not Sydney)

1.  It’s the first day of June.  How did that happen?

2.  There’s something magical about that moment when two strangers acknowledge with “the head nod” that they both just saw something weird.

3.  Final grades for the semester in, I am jazzed to report that I am maintaining the “A” average.

4.  Sydney Rose’s final grades in, 3 A’s and 2 B’s.  She killed her semester in Culinary Arts at Santa Barbara City College.  But I may be more pleased with the fact that she now makes some pretty awesome bread from scratch!

5.  I struggle internally when I see people support someone they know behaves poorly to another or others.  I understand there is such a thing as freedom of choice, but unfortunately it shows their true colors.    It makes me a bit sad. No, make that disappointed.

6.  I hate to use public bathroom facilities when there’s a woman in another stall speaking on her cell phone. I get gun shy. She could be speaking to George Clooney for all I know!  TMI?

7.  I saw a book recently called, “Your Hidden Food Allergies are Making you Fat.”  So I guess I’m allergic to Cake, French Fries, Doughnuts, Bread and Snickers candy bars.  Who knew!

8a.  I so rolled my eyes when I found out recently that Sydney Rose had her grandpa come over to handle a “HUMONGOUS” moth the cat had been batting around in the house.
8b.  Glad Grandpa was around to handle the lizard the cat dragged in this week.
8c.  The recent baby snake eating incident was hard to witness.
8d.  Sydney and I have decided that the cat is NOT offering up gifts to us when she brings in the occasional bird, Humongous moth, lizard or baby snake.  If she were, she’d leave them for us.  Instead, she maims, tortures, and then devours her prey.
8e.  We may have to feed the cat more often.

9.  My friend just went in for reconstructive surgery after her mastectomy earlier this year. Now just recovery time.

10.  Ventura Music Week is less than a week away now.  It’s all a volunteer activity.  No one is profiting.  Actually, I think our community is profiting.  This year will be solid.  Next year off the hook!!!

11.  From my Favorite Facebook Posts file:  “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”  Jack Handrey

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Eve, Me and Kat with members of Mandex
Eve, Me and Kat with members of Mandex

1. I’ve been holding my breath waiting on my final grades for the semester.  Why are they so important?  Why do I place so much value in them.  Either I know the material or I don’t.  It really should be pass or fail, no?  Education is a privilege I don’t take lightly.

2.  So far, I got an “A” in Photography.  Neener Neener Neener!!!

3.  Another semester done.  It always feels slightly weird that I no longer have to encorporate studying into my regular schedule.  Kind of afraid my mind will turn to mush.  But it’s funny how time is like a vaccuum.  I clear up four nights of school, and immediately it’s filled with webwork.

4.  As you can tell by the photo above, I’ve been working very hard on making this music scene happen here in Ventura.  It’s really a tough gig to have sometimes!

5.  When asked what my favorite decade of music is, I’m always quick to say the 90s. But after seeing Mandex (above), I’m leaning towards the 80s more and more.  Guns n Roses, Bon Jovi, the Crue.    Good times!

6.  I’ve been putting in mucho hours toward making Ventura Music Week a success this year.  But I have to be honest, I’m so tired of whiners!!!!!

Oh wait…Was I just whining?

7.  I’ve been crazy busy.

8.  I recently had the singer of a band come up to me as I sat at a wine bar, he seranade me as he rocked me gently with his arms around me from behind.   I was very flattered until I heard he was a player…then not so much.

9.  I’m proud to say I’ve never read “50 Shades of Grey”.

10.  My father was hospitalized recently for dehydration while away on vacation in another state.  It wasn’t critical by any means, but there is nothing worse than feeling helpless.

11.  Today is Memorial Day:  “We come, not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them.” — Francis Amasa Walker.  WORD

12.  From my Favorite Facebook Posts file:  Audrey Hepburn quote from the movie “Charade”:     “I don’t bite, you know…unless it’s called for.”

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Mother's Day dinner with Nancy, Dad, Syd Rose, me, and Staci Brown
Mother’s Day dinner with Nancy, Dad
Syd Rose, me, and Staci Brown

1.  Mother’s Day was great fun. Felt the love for sure!

2.  I hate falling for someone’s social veneer.

3.  Alright, I admit it.  I love a man in a uniform!

4.  If a cup of coffee costs $2.00 and the same sized cup of hot chocolate costs $1.50, then how come a cup of half coffee and half hot chocolate cost $2.50?  When a coffeehouse charges me more than $2.00 for the combo, I never return. EVER!!!

5.  VenturaRocks.com is really becoming a mover and a shaker here in Ventura.  Plus I have to admit, I love the hugs I get when I go out.

6.  I’m in the middle of finals.  I have just two this semester.  One down, one to go.  Confidence level remains moderate.

7.  I hate being mean, even when it’s warranted.  But sometimes you have to let the other person know enough is enough.  It still leaves my stomach in knots.

8.  When I was married, Chris and I started what we affectionately called, “The-Kevin-Costner-Movies-That-Matter video collection”.  Really, the only ones that really continue to matter in my book are Bull Durham and Field of Dreams, both about baseball, odd.

9.  I’m now on a quest to spot my first owl in the wild.

10.  I’m not a fan of the accordian.

11.  From my “Favorite Facebook Posts” file:  “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!  Hell, who am I kidding? I hope you fall down the fucking stairs too.”  Yeah, it’s been one of those weeks.

Being a Mother

Bonding with Sydney Rose about 2 seconds after she was born.

Bonding with Sydney Rose about 2 seconds after she was born.

Being a mother has been the most important and responsible thing I have done this life time.

As I only managed to get one kid out of my former spouse (a story for another day), I am happy to say that my daughter has exceeded my expectations of motherhood.

It’s an odd thing, the connection between mother and daughter.  As a daughter, and now as a mother.

When I lost my mother at the age of 15, I thought for sure that my life would never be whole again.  But I was wrong.  When my daughter was born, I was at once complete in the universe.  When the nurse placed her on my tummy, and she automatically wrapped her tiny fingers around my forefinger, I knew my life would forever be better because she was in my universe.

I vowed silently, that I would care for this little girl and that I would do my best to make a safe environment for her to grow up in and to thrive in.  I pray to God that I’ve done my best for her.

She has done nothing but made me proud.

The bond I have had with my little girl has enhanced my life and I am a better person because of her.

I love you Sydney Rose!

(Originally posted on Facebook 5/7/11

A Posthumous Happy Mother’s Day

Ada Patricia Bladh

Ada Patricia Bladh

Ada Patricia Bladh

Ada Patricia Bladh

Patty, me in stroller, and my mom

Patty, me in stroller, and my mom

I started to write about my Mother’s life with the title Mother’s Day, and then found that it was really freakin’ depressing.  So I’ve backed up and I’m going to write about my time with my mother.  It may look like it’s going to be sad and depressing too, but hang in there…

I really loved my mother.  I lost her when I was fifteen years old, so my viewpoint back then was much different than it is today.  Teenagers tend to be dramatic, but when I lost her, I thought I really lost my whole world, and I went through many different phases of dealing with her death, a suicide, for the next fifteen or so years.

That being said, today I reflect on my childhood with my mother.  She was the bomb!  The love and comfort she always gave to me was such that I felt truly taken care of and that I was Okay.  You know what I mean?  I never second guessed my worth around her.

My mother loved to laugh.  I always looked forward to her coming home with a certain sparkle in her eye as she would tell me a story about what had happened that day at work.  And I would always asked, “What did you do?” And she would always say, “I just laughed.”  which always made me laugh.

I remember when she worked at Henshaw’s Department store in Whittier that she would bring home a new Barbie outfit almost every single week.  My Barbies were amongst the best dressed in town.  While working there, she worked in gift wrapping (she would bestow her knowledge of these skills to me) and then later in the Hickory Farms department.  We’d get one of those big ol’ giant beef sticks from time to time and she’d bring home a box of these nasty little squares of what I can only describe as congealed fruit with no sugar, and they appeared to be rolled in flour or something.  To a kid, that’s yuck.  As an adult, it’s a treat.  Regardless, it was always fun to run around the department store pretending I lived there.

My mother loved the sun.  She was Swedish, so she was extremely white, but if she put the effort in, she tanned fairly well.  We spent many hours at the beach and poolside as I ran amok while she sunbathed.  Her tanning efforts were usually short-lived however as her tan would dry up and she would soon be peeling.  I use to spend what seemed like hours sitting on her butt while peeling these long strands of dead skin off her back.  It was awesome!!

I remember I was the one who gave my mother the Mumps, just in time for Christmas one year.  I always felt bad about that.

My mother’s cooking skills were superb to someone who does not know any better.   Ninety percent of my vegetables came from a can.  She tended to overcook things, but to this day, I love the end-cut of roasts, the drier the better.  I’m sorry to say the day she attempted to make Chili Rellano, I may have thrown them up, which is probably why I can not stand any sort of crustiness when it comes to my eggs today.  She did however make amazing lemon meringue pies, and cheese enchiladas.

It was shortly after she passed away and my father came to live with me that I realized my mother never taught me how to cook.  She had not bestowed her knowledge of these skills to me which may or may not have been a good thing, but it created a bit of a problem.  That first Christmas without her was already incredibly hard, but we had to eat, right?  But without “said skills” our dinner options were limited.  After a short discussion, it was decided that I would attempt to recreate what I hope I remembered seeing when I would watch her make those cheese enchiladas.  Nailed it!!!  That’s one thing I took from her for sure and it made it a tad bit comforting as we ate enchiladas for Christmas dinner that year.

My mother LOVED to play cards.  We would literally spend hours playing Gin, Rummy, Crazy Eights or War.  She never tired of it!

My mother refused to drive the freeway.  Do you have any idea how long it takes to get home from Los Angeles via ALL side streets?  She was a bit nuts, but she let me take control of the radio.

My mother riding a bicycle was funny shit.

Every now and then my mother would roll up the sleeves and would dive into my room only to resurface when it was nice and clean.  She did this at least three times.  That was awesome!

My mother loved Credence Clearwater Revival.  I still don’t get it.   She also use to sing Benny and the Jets to her dog Benny which always got the dog hollering with her.  Drove me crazy!!

It took me almost five years to not look at the clock at 4 o’clock waiting for her call to check in with me before she got off work at 5 o’clock.  It took me almost ten years to stop looking for her face in a crowd. And to this day I still ache for her touch.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

A Couple of Things…

Last year’s Bike-to-Work day

1.  Bike-to-Work week starts Monday!!!

2.  Is saving $20 worth it for a used wet suit, knowing someone most likely has peed in it? The gal at Play it Again Sports said, “Well you can wash it!”

3.  Mother’s Day has always been a tad bittersweet for me because I miss my mother so much, on the other hand as a Mother I get to celebrate being Sydney Rose’s mom, which has been the greatest adventure of my life.

4.  I absolutely love the sound of a basketball swishing through a metal net. Especially those 3-pointers!

5.  I wrote a blog for VenturaRocks.com on The Worth of an Artist and was promptly attacked for supporting RAW which does in fact require their Artists to sell tickets to their events. I’m going on the record as saying that RAW actually offers a great service when done correctly to all artists. And I’ve heard nothing but great things about our Ventura chapter. That being said, I’ve asked Sara from RAW to remove VenturaRocks.com from their posters because technically it is Pay-to-Play. We’re still listing RAW, just not a sponsor now.

6. The other morning at work as I was trying to wrap my mind around why Sergio Albarran listens to Hall and Oates all the time, I asked him how old he was and he said 27. It just doesn’t make sense! And then he said and I quote, “Hall and Oates are gangster.” Life is a mystery. Some things are just not meant to be understood.

7.  Just learned that Hall and Oates are playing the Ventura Fair this year.

8.  I found an old aircheck from when I worked weekends on B95.1. No comment.

9.  All spiders are Brown Recluses to me

10.  I’m not a big fan of Westerns, western music or rodeos. But man, certain cowboys make me swoon!

11.  From my “Favorite Facebook Posts” file:  “When one door closes, another one opens. Or you could just open the closed door, that’s how they work.”

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

Playing with lifesized Tonka Toys

Playing with life-sized Tonka Toys

1. There are few things worse than giving up on a person you really care about.

2. Being served dinner by handsome firemen has been added to my Highlights in My Life file.  Thanks again Christine!

3. I love hot weather, hot salsa, and a hot man.  Definitely not in that order.

4. We have a small-time business entity here in Ventura County that has done nothing successful, continues to steal ideas from their competitors and undermine the efforts of those who are trying to make this music scene happen by serving their own self-interests.    You know who you are.  We do too.

5. I’ve never been a fan of Starbucks.  Instead, I support the mom & pop doughnut shop whenever possible.  The only problem is getting out without a doughnut…with maple frosting, or crumb on raised glazed, or an old-fashioned, or double chocolate cake, or…

6. WARNING!!! Flashback moment:  That moment when it hits you in the fifth grade.  You still have a minimum of seven more years to go.

7. Can you believe, I use to hate sports?

8.  I get that I need to get the mechanics down for taking a good picture, but I find my photos suffer when my attention is on how…instead of what.  I shoot what inspires me.  I do know in the long run that I will be a better photographer once the basic are second nature and again, I’m shooting what inspires me.

9. My next photo assignment is simply entitled “Addiction”.   Crazy fun!  Not.

10. If someone “friended me” and then they never comment, like or post…it kind of feels like they’re a creeper, no?  Of course, one has to consider that they may have a life and rarely check in on Facebook.

11. I worked in Construction Management for a couple of years and towards the end of one of the jobs we were overseeing, the Construction Foreman asked if I would like to try out  one of the big pieces of equipment.  I was floored!!!  Of course I jumped at the chance. It was amazing! (see photo above)

12. Sometimes the rumors are true! So often when I attend a festival of music I’ll hear rumors that “so and so” is expected to show up and jam. I had heard the rumors earlier in the week and because of past disappointments, I gave this one no weight. It was Moorpark College for Christ’s sake!  Well this past Saturday at the Ventura County Blues Festival, George Thorogood was heard to be on the grounds, and did in fact join Johnny Rivers on stage for about four songs. Too cool.

13. From my “Favorite Facebook Posts” file:  “Due to the recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.”  author unknown.

Thanks for listening.

Christine’s Dinner Served by…yes, Firemen

Christine Law

             Christine Law

I’ve known Christine Law since the mid 90s when I worked at KXBS, 96.7 The Bus radio station and she was in the local band Tantrum that we added to our playlist. She stood out because not only was she adorable and had such an easy smile, but she was a female bass player in this heavy rock band.  She rocked that bass!  I was very impressed.

But it was just the last year or so that we started to actually hang out due to the music scene here in Ventura.  She had started up Afirm Records a number of years ago and I started a website called VenturaRocks.com four years ago which supports the music scene here in town. We really do have a lot of common interests, so it’s such a treat when I would get to hang out together.  She attended a “Girls Dress Night Out” as well as Staci Brown’s birthday celebration and I made sure I supported her husband Charles’ band, Charles Law and Jagged, when he played at The Tavern and again at Amigos.

Just a couple of weeks ago I received a special invitation via Facebook from Christine simply entitled: Girls Nite – Dinner at Christine Law’s served by Ventura Firemen!  She said she won a dinner for 8 served by Ventura County Firemen at her house.  But the truth is, she bid on the package which was a fundraiser for the Boys and Girls club.  She’s very much involved in improving conditions in her community and participates in many civic engagement projects.

I have to admit, I was a little giddy about being included for this exclusive gathering of friends.  As it turns out, the women she invited were extraordinary women, more than half I already knew and call my friends and the others I thoroughly enjoyed meeting and hope to see again soon.

Christine and Charles live up above Santa Paula, in the upper Ojai rugged terrain on a ranch style house with horses up against the hills over looking wilderness.  What a beautiful piece of land.  We arrived to find the firetruck parked in her driveway along with the Battalion Chief’s truck next to where the half dozen or so firemen were busy preparing a barbecue dinner for us women.  I didn’t even try to attempt to wipe the smile off my face.

Charles was in charge of the beverages because the rules state our firemen could not drink. Actually, if memory serves, I was informed when we went to have our photo ops that there were two rules for these beautiful heroes, no alcohol, and no nudity.  Again, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face just conjuring up some new images in my mind.

So we had our photos taken after playing on the truck for a while, and the guys were more than gracious and patient about it.  After our group shot and the women were starting to disperse, I half-jokingly mention to the chief that it would be really cool to have a picture with just me and the guys.  He said, “Are you kidding?  Of course!!”  And immediately he rounded up the boys and BAM!  It was a done deal.

We then left the men to go munch on h’orderves which consisted of different cheeses, crackers, bread, dips and fruits, we had plenty of wine, beers and shots of Patron, as we engaged in good conversations enjoying our beautiful surroundings.  Just so you know, while the firemen provided the makings for dinner, we provided the snacks, beverages and dessert. Before we knew it, dinner was ready to be served.  Some of us half expected spaghetti, but our firemen were graciously serving up tri-tip, chicken, veggie kabobs, grilled zucchini and corn on the cob with salad and more fresh fruit and they never allowed us to lift a finger. They served us and treated us like queens.

Our guys cleared the table for us and one of Christine’s guests, Melissa, brought out a bottle of Limoncello, offering up shots to cleanse the palate.  Delicious.  Before long we had our dessert of two types of chocolate cake, I opted for the German chocolate, and I was stuffed…still smiling.

At one point we asked if our firemen were volunteering their time, and we learned that our heros, which included two Battalion Chiefs, were on the clock and always on standby.  If a fire broke out, we were on our own.  Luck was with us as we only lost one fireman who had to respond to a TC (traffic collision).  It was just amazing. They were all true gentlemen.  They served us and took care of us, did not allow us to help clear the table, and when I saw one pass by with an apron wrapped around his waist, I had to follow and what I found brought tears to my eyes:  several of our guys were washing the dishes in uniform. Could there be anything sexier?

Before long it was time to say goodby and give thanks to our firemen for doing this to help raise funds for the Boys & Girls Club.  It was an event I won’t ever forget.

We hung out several hours longer as Christine and Charles opened up their home to us and we talked about my favorite subject of music as we collaborated on how to make the music scene in our town even better.

Before long it was time to say our thanks and goodbyes and with five of us in one car ready to head home I still couldn’t help but smile remembering being treated like a queen for the day and all because Christine Law considers me one of her friends.

Christine, I’m honored.  Thank you!

Looking forward to meeting up on the basketball court one of these days!

I Was a Bone Marrow Donor

Back when I was still using Stephanie Rose, I wrote this article in 2004 and it was published in Buzzine Magazine. Since then, the methods and statistics may have changed, but the back story remains the same.  Here is my article:

Original Bone Marrow Article

In February 1996, I helped host a bone marrow drive that was being sponsored by the family of a little girl who desperately needed a bone marrow transplant. Her family contacted the radio station I was working at and we were happy to help. During the event, our listeners were invited to find out more about the National Marrow Donor Program, or NMDP, and to register in the hopes of becoming a potential match. I was asked if I would like to participate. Having donated dozens of pints of blood over the years, I was open to the idea so I read the brochures explaining what was involved and signed up. A small sample of my blood was extracted and put into a couple of vials and that was that.

Time passed and I was not contacted to help this little girl. I continued raising my family and taking care of business that is until the call came in August 2001. The American Red Cross called to tell me that I was a potential match for a bone marrow transplant. All they could tell me about the recipient was that he was a 1-year-old boy who, without the transplant, had little chance of surviving. I was asked if I would authorize further testing through the NMDP for compatibility and I agreed. After more tests and examinations and then several months of waiting, I was notified that I was a match and a date was set.

People have often asked me if I was donating for a family member and are shocked to find that the recipient was a stranger. It never ceases to fascinate me that they then ask why I would do this. I recently discovered that only 11,000 individuals have donated bone marrow for unrelated patients. 50,000 – 60,000 family members have done so to date. I have spent a long time thinking about why I would want to put myself through such an ordeal and it all boils down to this – nothing more or less – just to be able to help.

On the day of the procedure I was treated like royalty. I was a little embarrassed by the attention, which kept my mind somewhat off what was about to happen. My Red Cross liaison was by my side the whole time, even when I came out of the fog of anesthesia. The procedure had been flawless and she informed me that at that moment my bone marrow was on a plane, on its way to the little baby boy.

The gravity of the situation hit me hardest at that point. Here was a family I had never met doing all they could to hang in there and wait for the arrival of my bone marrow.

I was discharged before I knew it. The doctors warned me of the pain that would follow, likening it to muscle soreness after hours of gardening. They were right. The first day afterward I was sore, but I was still able to get around and make dinner for the family. Each day was better, and within five days I didn’t really notice it all. I’ve talked to other donors who endured worse pain, or perhaps their pain threshold is different from mine. But the way I see it and the way most donors do, is that the pain really isn’t the issue in the long run. The issue is the possibility of saving a life. That is all that matters.

The following weeks and months seemed almost surreal, like the transplant hadn’t really happened. I had heard no news, which is standard (the donor is not given news for at least a year, as conditions can change). I contacted my Red Cross liaison and she recommended writing a letter. In my letter I told this family of strangers who are so intimately connected to me about myself and my family, giving no specifics, no names, no cities and such. I sent the letter to the American Red Cross who then forwards it to the baby’s family. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want this family beholden to me. But I also didn’t want them to think I didn’t care, and I certainly wanted them to know how much I hoped their baby boy was doing better. I felt awkward.

I received a letter from the little boy’s mother telling me that for the very first time in months they had taken their baby home. They were scared at first because there was no longer a nurse outside the door, but time was passing. At the time of her letter, it had been eight months since the transplant and she said that all was looking good, but only the future would tell of the long-term effects. She had been told her baby would die before the age of 10 without the treatment and that the treatment needed to occur before he turned two for the most effective results. He was 18 months at the time of the transplant. The thanks she gave me were superfluous to the news that her baby had been given a second chance. A little being is alive and doing better because of the science available to us, the American Red Cross, the National Marrow Donor Program and because people care enough to take a simple little test one day with the off chance they may save a life.

During the holiday season I am reminded of this gift that I was able to give and the inner joy of being able to help. I look at my own little girl and realize that she could have been that little baby and could have been at the mercy of strangers. I am reminded that the choice I made the day I registered was one of my better days as a member of the human race.

Now I would like to invite you to think about making yourself available as a possible bone marrow donor. The team at the American Red Cross is incredible. The National Marrow Donor Program is creating miracles. These organizations are dedicated to saving lives. It is their job and they are proud of it. They welcome your help. Please contact them for further information

: http://www.redcross.org.

Issue of Buzzine with Bone Marrow article in it.

Stephanie Rose
Editor-in-Chief
Buzzine Magazine

A Couple of Things…

Boys playing in the ocean.

1. Saturday in Ventura was picture perfect!  Sunshine, Earth Day celebrations along the promenade at the beach.  Boys playing in the ocean (see photo above), music at the fairgrounds. Marty Party up at the ranch behind Two Trees.  Life is good!

2. Ventura has so much amazing talent. VenturaRocks.com is doing our share of helping to promote this scene.  Now we just need to get more people out supporting it!

3. I saw fireflies in person (in flies?) for the first time in my life five years ago in Louisiana.  They are freakin’ cool.  I thought Disney was pulling my leg on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride all these years.

4. From my “Little Did They Know” file:  I’m a sucker for sardines on saltines with onions.

5. I’ve never had a fast food drive-thru error in my favor.

6. I love music and I love live radio, but I especially love that sense of community when the two come magically together once in a blue moon.  The staff, from the owner to the PD to the on-air crew definitely have to share that vision.  I was lucky to be a part of one once.

7. On the flip-side, I don’t like corporate radio shoving their playlist down your throat.  I don’t like voice tracks. I’ve been unlucky to be a part of one once..for about three months. Sucked the life out of me.

8. WARNING!!!  Flashback moment:   I have to say, I really miss eating Trix and watching Bugs Bunny on Saturday mornings.

9. Clipper Nation Baby!!!

10. From my “Favorite Facebook Posts” file::  “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain