Author Archives: A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

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About A Couple of Things by Pam Baumgardner

Living the good life in Ventura, CA.

Being a Victim Sucks

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Being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing.  But living your life as a victim is something entirely different.  Unfortunately, those sort of victims can’t see the forest for the trees.   For them, life is a continuous battle, to which they can do nothing about.  Helping them shift over to slight gentle cause is about all you can do for them.  You can’t make them be responsible because to be responsible, it has to be a personal choice.  You CAN NOT make them.  If you think you can, they’ll just be a victim of you making them, and that is not responsibility. You’ll be the cause of their woes at that point.

You see the worst part of trying to be friends with a victim is that they have it all figured out how it’s the other person’s fault,  or how circumstances work against them.  They rarely rise above this bullshit and have the guts to look at themselves for why things always seem to go wrong for them.  And no matter how much you listen or work with them, they slide right back to that safe spot called victim.

I also know from personal experience that it does not serve that person to coddle them and let them continue to do so.   Unfortunately they consider that mean, which you know, keeps them at victim.

Harsh?  Yes.  After so many losses and upsets in one’s life, it’s so much easier to settle in at “victim.”  I understand, I dabbled in “victimdom”.   It really sucked.  And I’ll be honest; I’ve had a lot of counseling to help me work out those issues, and I finally had a blinding cognition, that I am totally and solely responsible for my life. It’s not scary, it’s just the truth. I let that cognition empower me to build the life I want to have.  And I chose to not surround myself with cruel people who thrive on keeping others down.

But I thank my friends who don’t coddle me and I do my best to surround myself with those who take responsibility for their lot in life and make it go right to create the life they want to lead.

Again, being a victim of cancer, being a victim of a crime, being a victim of abuse is one thing.  Strong responsible people learn to come to terms and handle and either use their experiences to empower others, or they move on if they are physically able to do so.

I take a lot of credit for all the strong brilliant friends I have.  I’m here to empower and I’m here to listen, but only if you want true help.

I love you man!

Matt Cooper – In Memoriam

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This was originally written on April 2, 2013, the day after Matt passed:

Matt Cooper and Me at Sea WorldMatt passed away last night.

Matt Cooper was a special soul. He lived life by his standards. He was inspirational.

KXBS, The Bus, would not have been the same without him and Brother Rob on the morning show. GOD I LOVED DANO!!! And I didn’t even like sports!

We had so much fun going out in the community “shaking hands and kissing babies” and making the radio station stand out from the rest. We cared. He cared. And he took his position seriously.

I’ll never forget those music meetings where we would all gather up in our office and Matt would introduce the music he would be presenting to “the committee”. You could tell he was excited by certain tunes, but tried to be fair for all of them.

Brother Rob and Matt Cooper with Winners

Of course there were those moments that stand out more than others, like when he played the wrong cut of a song’s intro and empathically dropped the “F” bomb live on air. Was it Bloodhound Gang? I knew something was wrong when all of a sudden there was dead air…and EVERYONE was laughing!!

Hanging out at the beach or shooting hoops. You guys were my boys.

I can not help but smile that Matt passed on April Fool’s Day. Now that’s a statement!

Love you Matt Cooper. You made your mark on Ventura.

Pam
aka Stephanie Rose

Matt Cooper and Me

(I wrote a blog about attending Matt’s funeral:
https://acoupleofthings.us/2013/04/13/i-went-to-a-funeral-today/)

A Couple of Things…

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96-ZTR

1.  Rock Star?  HAHAHA!!! Yeah, no.  Overnight radio DJ, yes.  I loved being on- the-air and spinning tunes, sharing  music and stories and being a part of the late night community that was Ventura back in 1987-1991.  I learned to be comfortable with my voice and to be focused on the listener and not introverted.  Not an easy task for some of us, especially those of us with a bad perm. 😉

So happy to gain that experience because it paved the way for my next gig with KXBS radio.

2.The only thing bad about having a Basketball Jones, is when you can’t get that STUPID song out of your head.

3.  Speaking of basketball…sort of.

Congratulations to my co-worker Derek Towers and miscellaneous City Hall workers including one Sergio Albarran (squatting in photo) on making the Ventura Star.  They did a really nice story on Derek (not shown in this photo) and his bike accident and how he’s made more than the best of it by inspiring others to do this crazy cross fit training during lunch.

VC Star

That’s me by the way in the background shooting hoops.  🙂

4.  Celebrity Sighting – True Story:
I had called in my lunch order for a burrito at Corrales while riding my bike one day about four years ago. When I got there, I parked my bike and walked up to the window when four guys cut me off and got in line in front of me. Two of them sat down. They looked like they had just come in from surfing. Anyways, these guys proceeded to order over $50 worth of Mexican food going back and forth adding more to their order. Standing there annoyed, I soon realized two of the guys were Flea and Anthony Keidis. I was now embarrassed that I was dissed by Red Hot Chili Pepper members until Flea turned around and asked me if he could get me anything.

I’m still kicking myself that I had called in my order!

NOT Ventura. Photo courtesy of Zimbia.com
NOT Ventura. Photo courtesy of Zimbia.com

5.  I got a call the other day from Sydney Rose who informed me she had bought two chinchillas as pets.  She posted a photo and I have to say, they are extremely cute.

The kids

It got me to thinking that whoever came up with the idea of skinning these adorable creatures for their coats must have be really heartless, or they were freakin’ freezing to death.  But to farm them to skin them for fashion, tsk tsk.

6.  I heard a couple of people discussing their first kiss on a morning radio show out of LA.  I thought back to my first kiss which was from a kid in elementary school.  It was really soft and wet and I was left uninspired, probably because I did not have a crush on him.

7. Writing music reviews is one of the hardest things I do. I always encourage and point out the good elements to an artist’s or band’s projects. To belittle those efforts – to me – is just evil.  I’ve seen music critics who seem to make a sport of it. So when I come across music I don’t personally like, I don’t write about it; it just may be somebody else’s cup of tea. For instance, I never in a million years would have written reviews for The Grateful Dead. But look how many delusional fans they have. The same could be said for Metallica.

8.  You know on some of those forms where you are asked for your ethnicity?   Some are for medical reasons, others are for funding for governmental programs or for employment purposes.  It seems to me that America is such a melting pot that one person can’t check off one box anymore.  I’m half Mexican (actually 1/4 Spanish, and 1/4 Mexican) and the other half Swedish.  There’s no box for that!  Maybe they should list out all ethnic types and provide percentages?

God Ever Speak Through Cats?

9.  There is actually a book called Does God Ever Speak Through Cats?  It’s by David Evans

Of course I immediately start thinking about the current cat taking up residency at my house, Molly.  She is very demanding, yet very standoffish.  She hates to be held, unless on her terms.  She insists on lounging in the middle of floor where she will be step on…in the dark. If God is speaking through her, I’m screwed.

10.  I’ve read that “Sugar is as addictive as Crack.”  I can’t disagree, not that I’ve tried crack.

11.  From my favorite quotes file:  “The best revenge is massive success.” Frank Sinatra

Thanks for listening!

A Couple of Things…

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VenturaRocks.com party

1.  Family, friends and local musicians who came out to help celebrate VenturaRocks.com’s 5-year anniversary meant the world to me.  I know how crazy life can get and how busy we can become, so to stop by and say hello or to hang out for awhile, well, that was just awesome.

Thank you!!!

There is a more complete photo gallery at VenturaRocks.com and I hope to get more photos from others who took pictures soon.

2.  In Plano, TX, a police officer pulled over a man whose tags had expired on his car. The man who had been struggling to pay the bills and feed his family explained there was no excuse, but that he just didn’t have the money.  The officer gave him a citation anyways and left.

Inside the citation?  A $100 bill.

He was not only able to pay his DMV registration fees but his wife’s as well.

3.  I saw this post this week and I couldn’t agree more:  “You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, it’s easily 90-10.”

4.  I am encouraged that I did not see as many hate-filled posts and articles about the passing of the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps.

george-takei

I think my favorite post comes from former Star Trek actor and gay rights advocate George Takei who wrote:  “Today, Mr. Phelps may have learned that God, in fact, hates no one. Vicious and hate-filled as he was, may his soul find the kind of peace through death that was so plainly elusive during his life.”

5.  I recommend less introspection and wondering why you are the way you are and try more serving others.
Get over yourself and get busy.

6.  REAL news headlines:

  • Man with Tail Worshipped as God (But Not by His Wife)
  • Zoo Feeds Unwanted Giraffe to Lions
  • Female Libido Pill Scrutinized
  • You are What your Grandmother ate
  • New Species of Mammal Kills Itself with Sex
sex-fiend

Yeah, Okay, about that last one, the species, a pink-nosed rodentlike marsupial, was discovered in May 2013 and already scientist are seeking endangered species protection for them.  Really?

Click here for one of the news stories.

7.  Don’t you just love your first glimpse of a really large full moon? I especially love it when it isn’t expected and it’s in the corner of my eye behind some trees or coming up over the hill and I have to take a second look. I literally gasp.

Don't Fuck with Me


8.  When Sydney Rose was born, I always considered the worst case scenario and what to do if it happened.  For some reason, we thought it would be a good idea to take her for walk out on the pier.  In my mind – and I am not kidding, you can see it on my face in this photo – (I remember like it happened yesterday wondering this to myself), “What if someone pushes the stroller over the edge?”  In my mind, “I’ll need to jump in and save her while yelling call 9-1-1”.
Of course they would have to tackle me first, hold me down while lifting up the stroller and pushing her over, not to mention her father fighting tooth and nail for her life.

But I still had a plan.

Being Single


9. Love this Meme entitled “23 People Were Asked ‘What’s the Best Thing About Being Single?’ These Answers Make A Lot of Sense”

The one that made me laugh the most is #7 and apparently answered by a male. It says, “Don’t have to compromise anything. I had to sit through Cinderella and a thousand bullshit chick flicks just because my ex wanted to watch them. Now, I watch Cinderella because I want to watch it.”

But the one that hits closest to home is #2. “You really don’t appreciate the entire mattress, until you have it to yourself.”

tripping but not falling

10. Do you think they’ll start calling it a “Jennifer Lawrence” when someone trips or falls (especially in front of a lot of important people and your peers)? I feel so bad for her falling both times she attended the Academy Awards. I feel bad because that would totally be me! How lucky am I my dad caught this precious moment for me?  And no, I did not fall. After introducing Rey Fresco, I turned to walk off the stage and luckily I saw my foot had attracted the attention of one of the band’s guitar cords.  But yes, I am a klutz.

11.  From my favorite quotes files:

“Sometimes doing the right thing does not make everyone happy — just the people who need it the most.” – Tony Posnanski

Tony is a restaurant manager who received complaints from customers about a loud table nearby.  When he approached the table where a mother was sitting with her child, he was asked, ““Do you know what it is like to have a child with autism?”

If you have a few moments please read what Tony did.

Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things…

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Squashed Grapes Float
Maggie and me with owners of Squashed Grapes, Adam & Josh.
Trey O’Toole, Andrew Hill, Franklin Murphy & Jacob Scesney playing behind us.

1.  This past weekend the City threw their annual St. Patrick’s Day parade and I was invited to join Kat Merrick on her Totally Local VC float.  The Dan Grimm band played with Jonny accompanying on air guitar.  Maggie and I caught up with the crew from Squashed Grapes (see above) who won the Mayor’s Choice award this year.  I have to say, I love a parade!

2.  I would like to see the sunrise on the East coast someday. Love our West coast sunsets!   It will be a nice bookend.

State Champs!

3.  Ventura College has a terrific program for both Men’s and Women’s basketball.  I love taking in a game whenever I can find the time.   Well this year, the women took State on Sunday.  Congratulations ladies, you rock!!!

4.  All of a sudden I’m seeing Facebook posts, and blogs from women on how “I don’t owe you a smile” or “Stop telling me to smile” or discussing how asking is a form of  harassment. In all honesty, I get it. I have felt passive aggressiveness before with a man requesting I smile. You know what actually works? Do something to make me smile. 🙂 If I felt like smiling, I would be!

5.  Are guitars considered women? I saw a popular local artist post a picture of about a dozen guitars and his caption was “Hello ladies!!!” Plus doesn’t B.B. King call his “Lucille?” Jerry Garcia had one he called “Rosebud” which coincidentally was the nickname Craig Powers called me (my radio air name was Stephanie Rose).

A lot of people say cars are girls too, but I have a girlfriend who calls her’s Steve.

I use to have one of those voice activated hands-free devices which had a limited vocabulary in a female sounding voice. I called her “Beverly.” My daughter thought I was ridiculous. I call my breasts “the girls” but they don’t have specific names nor do I have a favorite. I haven’t named my car or my guitars to date, but I think I just might have to give it some thought.

eyes

6.  Sydney recently sent me a text from Oregon which read, “Hey someone said you looked like an owl.”

To which I replied, “Who? Who?”

I thought it was in response to this photo.  But sadly, she was just messing around with me.  Yeah, Oregon is super slow paced.

7.  I’m not normally one to read about psychiatric crap, but there was a blog entitled 12 Most Mind-Blowing Mental Delusions and Syndromes.   Some of them referred to people who suffered from hearing voices, there was one where the person believes they are dead or are missing their internal organs.  But my favorite was called the Paris Syndrome and I SWEAR TO GOD this is what it said about it:

Paris syndrome is a transient experience that affects tourists to Paris who find that the City of Light does not live up to their expectations.  They may experience hallucinations, delusions of persecution, anxiety and other somatic symptoms. Paris syndrome may sound like a joke, but around twenty Japanese tourists a year are thought to be hospitalized with it.

The usual treatment for Paris syndrome is to go home.

Brilliant!

There’s one for Jerusalem as well where people start wearing togas and giving bad sermons.  This is fascinating: “Estimates place the number of people who require hospital admission from this syndrome at around 40 per year.”

Again the treatment is to go home.

8.  Here’s a Public Service Message to those who still smoke.  Please do not throw your butts on the ground or out the window of a car.  Dispose of them properly.  Otherwise, they go down the gutter and directly to our ocean.  That sucks and it’s not alright.

Of course quitting is always encouraged! 😉

9.  I sometimes cut off the crust of my sandwich in the interest of shaving off calories and when I do I am reminded of being told bread crust will make your hair curly.  I wondered if that was just my weird family so I Googled it.  There are a ton of entries on the subject!  In fact, not only does Snopes weigh in – at length – on the subject but this is what WikiAnswers has to say:  “No, your hair shape is determined by the shape of the hair strand. The only way to change it is by getting a perm of some sort or sometimes as a person gets older their hair will change – or pregnancy. That can do it too.”

What a buzzkill. But what is interesting is the fact that this old wives tale dates back more than 300 years old.

Logo


10.  VenturaRocks.com’s 5th anniversary is Monday, March 17 and I’m looking forward to celebrating at Bombay’s with family and friends!

11.  From my Favorite quotes file, “He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.” – Thomas Jefferson

Thanks for listening

A Couple of Things…

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Shooting Hoops

1.  Shooting hoops is still my favorite form of exercise.  Maggie McKinney joined me recently and she may just consider joining me more often!  I sincerely hope so!!

2.  People having difficulties with the time change need to heed my advice.  Go to bed when you’re tired and not by what the clock says.  I never feel like I’ve lost or gained an hour.  Could just be me though.

3.  Just my opinion, but people should not say, “I miss you” if they don’t mean it.

4.  True story: When I use to work overnights at 96-ZTR, I would hang out on-the-air with the morning show guys as we transitioned between our shifts. Jimmy Baron like to ask about Chris because we were still newlyweds at the time and he loved to refer to him as the C-Man, which you know, if you say it just right….

Kevin Costner

5.  From my “You Never Know Who You Will Run Into” file, I ran into Kevin Costner at Ventura College during a Ventura High Cougar’s CIF playoff game February 2011.  He was sitting in front of us with some friends and his young son.   I understand he grew up here in Ventura, but I think he was a Bulldog. (Note: I asked for permission to take picture).

6.  I saw an article called, “17 Signs That You’d Qualify as a Witch in 1692.”
#1.  You are female.

Bummer

Poor Pooh!

7.  Recent headline:  “Sewer was blocked by large Pooh.”

8.  They say as soon as you give birth, you forget the pain.  Well I say, That’s such a crock of shit!  I remember it clearly!  By the way, “When was the last time you called your mother Sydney Rose????”

Sydney

Yeah, I know, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

9. I did a post on Facebook about how I loathe the expression, “It’s not personal, it’s business.” I have a hard time wrapping my head around that saying, because people fall back on that when they’ve done something that wasn’t quite cool, or fair.

There’s a great scene in the movie, You’ve Got Mail, covering this very subject when he ran her out of business.

Joe Fox: It wasn’t… personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you. But it was personal to me. It’s *personal* to a lot of people. And what’s so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

I love that movie!

From my “Little Did They Know” file, I bawled my eyes out during The Nutty Professor remake years ago, the one with Eddie Murphy?  It was that scene where he is the fat version of himself, and he is out on a date at a comedy club where the comedian just insults the bejebbers out of him.  He just sat there and took it and I was a just a blubbering mess.

11.  Sticking with movies, I am so behind on seeing the latest movies out.  The last one was American Hustle on Christmas, and the only movie I had seen that was nominated for anything at the Academy Awards this year. I kinda wanna see Mr. Peabody & Sherman (probably not a contender for next year’s award season).

12.  From my favorite quotes file:  “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

Thanks for listening!

(What’s so Funny ‘Bout) Peace Love and Understanding?

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I feel bad for John Travolta and his faux pas at the Oscar’s for mispronouncing the singer’s name. I guarantee when he realized his mistake, he was horrified and apologized for it.  In fact I looked it up, yes, he was in fact, beating himself up over it.

People continue to belittle and make fun of this person because he is a celebrity and he made an embarrassing mistake.  It’s been over-the-top badgering of another human being who did nothing intentionally cruel.  He made a mistake.  This is a man who has had to endure the incredible loss of his son just a few years ago.  I have close friends who work with him daily.  My daughter Sydney has met him, and I’ve heard nothing but the kindest words about his character. He has a genuine love for people and is always the first to offer help.

So I was at a loss, and frankly, I was saddened by the easy potshots people have been taking at this man in the media and on Facebook.

I shared my thoughts with one of my best friends, Linda LeBrock, who noted, “This is the society we live in. And it’s not pretty. Why all the buzz about Leo Di Caprio not winning. How many memes out there making fun of Leo. Why? What does this do for us. Are we jealous? Is our own financial stress making us resent others who are successful? It’s not exactly an appeal to our better angels to take such enormous pleasure in the sufferings or set backs of others.”

She then said, “Go Pammy, ‘promote (practice) kindness. Whenever possible. And it’s always possible.’ –Dali Lama”

So in the immortal words of Elvis Costello I ask, “What’s so funny about peace love and understanding?”

NOTHING.

So here now I share just a couple of amazing stories to counter balance the lack of empathy I’ve been witnessing and I hope this raises our collective spirits to be more understanding and not take joy in the mistakes or miseries of others.

Final day...

The Hospital allowed this lady’s cat to visit her during her last day on earth.

Homeless man ‘wins’ Lottery and the first thing he wants to do is share the money with others.

Angels - everyone of them
Delaney Brown

A little 8 year old girl in her final days with leukemia had a dying wish to meet Taylor Swift (who did a video chat with her) and to have some people come by and sing Christmas caroles.  The next evening people started to arrive.  First there were a hundred, then a thousand then there were about 10,000 people on the street singing to her.  Too sick to sit up, she gave two thumbs up.  Six days later, she passed away on December 26, 2013 at 3:10 am with her family and friends surrounding her.

Did you know there is actually an organization called “The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation”?    Inspiring people to practice kindness and pass it on to others.

cheetos

If you know me, you know that I ain’t a saint and I’ll admit I’ve laughed out loud at videos of someone slipping on ice or running into a tree (not seriously injured of course). I find a lot of the “Sick Bastard” mimes incredibly funny, and the Huffington Post is always good for a laugh or two including posing the question, “Do you really want to put that in your mouth?” to the picture of a flaming hot Cheeto which looks suspiciously like a man masturbating. (See?  Now that’s funny!)

My intention is not to shame anyone who has taken these easy potshots. I get it, you think you’re making others laugh.  But celebrities are real people.  Having worked in radio and on a music and entertainment magazine in Los Angeles, I’ve met my fair share of them.  They are people first and they hurt and have feelings like the rest of us “normal folk.”

Robert Downey Jr.

I would like to end this post with another one if you dare, written by Dana Reinhardt about Robert Downey Jr.

Please take another five minutes to read a story about her brief encounter with this incredible celebrity who has fought true demons and his bouts with drug addiction.  It’s the final line of her story that got to me most:
http://www.tickld.com/x/even-robert-downey-jr-is-humanand-heres-why

A Couple of Things…

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1.  From my “Little Did They Know” file, I’ve lost over 150 pounds.  Of course they were the same 5-10 pounds over and over and over again, but still.

SRO Benefit


2.  You ever wake up in a cold sweat wondering what photos will surface on social media from the night before? Yeah, me neither.

3.  I have a friend who no matter what you state, will have a counter-perspective or a flat out disagreement.  Use to piss me off.   But since I started to expect it, it entertains me.  If the truth be known, I’ve learned a thing or two in the process.

4. I hate it when no spoiler alert is given.

Kevin Bacon and Sean Hayes

5.  Just so you know, I have one degree of separation from Kevin Bacon.

K, so when I worked on Buzzine Magazine, one of our investors worked on Will and Grace (hence the one degree of separation since Bacon guest starred on W&G).  One day I arrived at the office to find the prop used on that particular episode in our office.  It was a life-size cardboard cut out of Kevin Bacon.  My partner Aaron, would fuck with me by moving it from time to time and I would arrive in my office, and BAM! There was Kevin Bacon.  Good times.

6.  I always try to do the surveys after I receive some sort of service, like staying at a hotel, or buying a car, or getting support from website hosting company.    I figure, I’m already on their email list and I do want them to provide better service or maintain it if its excellent.

7.  Did you see the photos of the deceased Puerto Rican boxer who was propped up in a fake boxing ring where his fans could walk up and have their photo taken with him?  I sincerely hope this does not start a whole new fad.  Freaked me out!! Don’t believe me?  Google it.

8.  One has to learn that there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like you.  Which leads to the question, HOW COME?!!!!

smoker

9.  So grateful Sydney Rose quit smoking.

Yes, I use to smoke.  I gave it up the year before I wanted to get pregnant to rid a lot of the toxins out of my body.  I never went back.  That doesn’t mean the cravings went away altogether, and it doesn’t mean I don’t still have nightmares that I started smoking again, but I’m sure glad I don’t.  (I’m thinking I was around 24 in the pix)

eyes

10.  So grateful I had Lasik eye surgery.

Yes, I use to wear contacts and before that funky eye glasses which I thought were fashionable for the day.  (I’m thinking I was around 21?)
I had the procedure done about ten years ago when not only couldn’t I see far away (since the 4th grade), but I could no longer see the small print either!  It was quite a miracle waking up the next morning and being able to see the clock across the room.

11.  From my favorite quotes file:  “Bless her heart” is the nice way to say “What a fucking lunatic” – Molly McNearney, writer for Jimmy Kimmel

Thanks for listening!

A Couple of Things…

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Ear Piercing

1.  I mentioned last September when my Aunt pierced my first ear (I was around 10 years old) that I promptly passed out.  It’s been awhile since I’ve worn earring because my right ear had closed about a year or so ago.  I went to the mall this past weekend to get it re-pierced and reminisced about when Sydney Rose decided she wanted her ears pierced, I went to exact same kiosk. We had decided to leave it up to her on if and when she wanted to have holes run through her body.  She was brave.  She shed a tear or two, but she was a trooper.  And for the record, I didn’t pass out this time.

2.  I have a couple of friends who are on a couple of those dating sites.  I’ve wondered about what I would put to talk about myself.  What do you think?

“I like short walks on the beach, long deep conversations, all kinds of music, puppy dogs, kittens and basketball.   Oh! And a nice rib-eye steak from time to time.”

3.   Did you hear about the South Carolina woman who spent the night in jail for failing to return a VHS tape she rented nine years ago?   She was released after appearing before a judge.  She rented Monster-in-law 9 years ago!  She went to the sheriff’s to file an unrelated report and her name came up red-tagged for an outstanding arrest warrant.

Note to self:  Avoid Pickens County, South Carolina.

4.  As I get older I have come to the realization that there is such a thing as too small a font.

5.  When did eating off a food truck become the thing to do?

6.  I’ve been bowling again since Mr. Mimiaga has decided to master the sport.  We’ve been going the past couple of Friday nights before I head out for music. I use to play in a league when I was in radio.  My average was around 130.  Still is.  I guess it’s like riding a bike.

7.  I’m back to trying to wear dresses at least once a week.  On my way into work one morning recently, my boss remarked, “You have sock lines.”  I KNOW!!!   I’m in the sun everyday for a half hour shooting hoops.  What I don’t have time for is sunbathing to even up the tan lines on my ankles!  It’s my personal version of a farmer’s tan.

man-baby

8.  I hate it when someone Photoshops the head of an adult and places it on the body of a baby (or vice versa).  Creeps me out!!  And no, Jeff Hereford, you’re not the only one.

9.  Love this advice:  He’ll never change.  Let him go.

10.  There are certain people when you share exciting news, will always point out a fault in it or a downside.  I try not to spend a lot of time with them.

11.  I’m thinking of taking swing dance lessons.

12.  This pun is for Sydney Rose:  “Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
HAHAHA!!!

13.  From my favorite quotes file:  “Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.”  – Henry Miller

Thanks for listening.

Smile Because it Happened

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I’ve always loved the quote from Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  It reminds me that we have the ability to see things in different perspectives.  Those who forget they have that ability are typically unhappy people, or their comfort zone is at “victim”.

I think back on all my relationships and there isn’t one that I would like to forget.  Okay, I lied.  There is that one, but seriously, he is bat ass crazy and that was a really bad choice on my behalf.

See what I did there?  I took responsibility for a bad choice.  And now, I smile at it.

Anyways…relationships are a funny thing.  In the past I would get insecure because a guy didn’t like me.  I would dwell on that fact, and pay no attention to the guys who had expressed interest in me. AND THEN of course, I have to take a look at the guys I had to tell that I didn’t feel that way about them.  It’s NEVER easy.  Egos can be fragile.

The truth is, I love men.  I love friendships.  I love hugs.

And if I were being brutally honest, I miss being married and believing that person will always be there for me.  I miss the shared laughter, the shared trials and tribulations of life, I miss sharing a life together.

One of my favorite stories about my ex-husband revolves around another famous quote you hear all the time:
We were seriously stressed out about time.  I was working in radio (you can not be late to be on-the-air), he was working his full time job and Sydney Rose was about six months old. Even though we both worked here in Ventura, we would commute over 20 miles each way to take her to stay with her Grandma because we knew she had a vested interest in seeing Sydney was well taken care of and happy.  I was also nursing Sydney at the time so I had to express my milk (yeah, kind of graphic, but get over it).  So we’re running around in the morning trying to get out of the house when I went to hand my husband the bottle of expressed mother’s milk and it dropped spilling all over the kitchen floor.

Time seemed to stand still until he said completely deadpanned, “There’s no use crying over spilled milk.”

There was no doubt about it, he had a great sense of humor.  We remained married for another eight years and had some great times raising Sydney, but it wasn’t working for him and he left.

With distance comes clarity and while I miss those things I mentioned about being married, I don’t miss him.

But I do smile because it happened.